A Gesture Life

Hata and Thomas visit Renny at the hospital. Renny survived a first heart attack because the paramedics arrived quickly. Sunny was surprisingly calm when she arrived at the hospital after the incident. Thomas was fine by all accounts and was kept overnight for observation. Hata expects accusatory anger from Sunny, but she seems relieved. Hata feels he doesn’t deserve her gentle filial allowing. Though Renny believes Hata saved his life, Hata had actually endangered it by not saving him right away. When Hata comforts Liv, she claims he has the spirit of a doctor, and that everyone else knows the truth. Hata immediately thinks of the deceased Anne Hickey, who may be among the first to disprove this “truth.”

Hata secretly attends Anne Hickey’s burial, not wanting Mr. Hickey see him. As the casket is lowered, Mr. Hickey runs and slips, fracturing his leg. Before losing consciousness, Mr. Hickey sees Hata and reaches towards him, moaning for no one to touch or help him except Hata. Hata gives a check to cover the expenses of Mr. Hickey’s stay at the hospital. He realizes that like Mr. Hickey, he no longer wishes to be a witness, “afraid not of death but of the death of yet another living chance through whom I might reconsider, and duly reckon” (331). Feeling that he is “at the vortex of bad happenings,” Hata finally understands why Sunny ran away to escape his “too-grateful, too-satisfied umbra” (332). He fears something terrible will befall Sunny and Thomas if he stays in their lives.

Sunny brings lunch to Hata in Renny’s hospital room. She shares her fear of hospitals and the store—before adoption, she stayed at a terrible hospital-like place. She used to wish Hata never adopted her, but not anymore. As a child, she never understood why Hata wanted her, as he seemed to prefer being alone in his carefully set up house. She always thought it was Hata who wished Sunny never came. Renny asks Sunny what it was like to have Hata as a father. She tells Hata she would never say anything bad.

Hata flashes back on Sunny’s abortion. When an uncertain 18-year-old Sunny returns home after a year, Hata convinces her to have the abortion. Even when doctor tells Hata that at 28 weeks an abortion is dangerous, Hata insists. Hata offers to stand in for the nurse, stating he has witnessed worse things. Still, the doctor warns against witnessing the procedure on his own daughter. Sunny disappears for good early the next morning, leaving a note of apology. Hata doesn’t want Sunny to know he was present. The experience was worse than the doctor expected and the sight forever unaltered and preserved in Hata’s memory. Though in his life he has witnessed what no decent being should ever have to remember, he lives with a warmth and privilege he doesn’t deserve.

Out on a walk, Hata is reflecting on when Mary once called him an unexpected sort. In the early days of their friendship, it was a compliment. At the end of their relationship, Mary shares how disturbed she was when her children asked about their inheritance. Hata’s only response is that he hopes they were satisfied with what she is leaving for them, leaving Mary stunned. Hata realizes later that it would have been better if he could frustrate and anger her, instead of always assenting with agreeable passivity. The next day, Mary returns for a swim. Hata watches anxiously after she dives without rising for a few seconds and holds back from diving after her until she rises, coughing terribly. Mary asks him if he will be leaving all this to Sunny and refuses to meet his gaze. Mary hugs Hata tightly before telling him that he is a marvel. He doesn’t see her again afterwards, except for a few awkward phone conversations.

In the present, Hata misses Mary when he passes her house. As he sees the movements of the young family inside, he imagines this is how it was for Mary 25 years ago. He mourns the fact that the daily happenings of a family never blessed his house, and that the next people to inhabit his home will never know of him and the kind of life he had. Upon returning home, Hata sees Liv peering into the windows. She seems proud of her many restorations. Hata finally decided to sell the house two weeks prior and has appointments the next day. Since then, Liv has been at the house every day for last second fixes, calling professional landscapers and setting up the house with bouquets of flowers.

Hata feels each day has been a ritualized step-by-step advance to some defining ceremony, not knowing whether it is a commencement or a last crucible. Though he has no real plans, he has decided that after the closing, he will call the bank to buy out Mr. Hickey’s mortgage to stop the foreclosure and take the property back. He will then call the hospital to set up an anonymous line of funds for Patrick Hickey’s treatment. Sunny doesn’t protest about him selling the house, only asking sweetly if he would move far away. Hata plans to place Sunny’s name on the title of the store and its apartments, hoping that she will open whatever shop she wants and live in its apartments. With what remains, Hata plans to move away and live modestly for the rest of his days. He thinks he might travel to former shores, but that it won’t be a pilgrimage. Rather than “seeking out destiny” or “finding comfort in the visage […] of the forgiving dead,” he will fly a flag. “…when the house is alive and full, I will be outside looking in” already on a walk someplace far away before he circles around to “come almost home” (355).