A Question of Power

“[B]e the same as others in heart; just be a person.”

Elizabeth’s goal in her spiritual journey is to simply be a regular person, not to be overtly powerful. Though she metaphorically defeats characters representing Satan in the narrative, this monumental achievement is simply bringing her to a healthier mental health baseline. The journey is representative of a mental health battle Elizabeth must endure, and Elizabeth’s self-discovery and self-realization allow her to move forward in life as part of society.

“It is when you cry, in the blackest hour of despair, that you stumble on a source of goodness.”

Sello uses hyperbole to convey how pain and suffering produce virtue. Words like “blackest” and “despair” create drama, and only out of extreme misery does Sello suggest it is possible to turn things around. This quote informs the theme Mental Health Versus Self Discovery, emphasizing the need for Elizabeth’s self-realization journey as opposed to mental health treatment.

“I am the root cause of human suffering.”

Sello’s statement is ironic, and the twist lies in its unexpected truth. He’s the cause of Elizabeth’s distress, as he’s behind the creation of Medusa and Dan. Power and Helplessness is a balance that Sello often addresses during Elizabeth’s journey. According to Sello, having power is often equated with evil, and his own experiences are no exception. While generally considered a good or godly character, Sello acknowledges his responsibility for much of the suffering in Elizabeth’s life.

“Who’s running the show around here? I am. Who knows everything around here? I do. Who’s wearing the pants in this house? I am.”

Medusa uses repetition to stress her self-importance by repeating “I” three times. The call-and-response tone used (while giving no time for a response) suggests a level of authority that cannot be challenged. Medusa’s character parallels many of the authority figures that Elizabeth has faced in her past. There is no room for compromise or discussion, only submission.

“How could someone run away from their own mind?”

The quote challenges the distinction between mental health and self-discovery. Elizabeth wants to run away from the thoughts in her head because of her mental health condition. Conversely, she wants out of her head due to the hellish journey of self-discovery. At this point in the narrative, Elizabeth feels overwhelmingly helpless in the face of her challenges.

“She found herself faced with a deep cesspit. It was filled almost to the brim with excreta. It was alive, and its contents rumbled. Huge angry flies buzzed over its surface with a loud humming.”

Head uses vivid imagery so the reader can imagine what Elizabeth has to look at: The foul cesspit. Head uses diction like “rumbled” and “angry flies” to animate the grotesque portrait. As part of Elizabeth’s self-discovery journey, she must learn to not recoil at such vile imagery in her mind but to assume power over these thoughts instead.

“Evil is a complexity so monumental that everything becomes a tangle of lies.”

Hyperbolic diction conveys the difficulty of understanding evil. The dramatic words mirror the equally sensational and painful journey that Elizabeth must endure to grow beyond her circumstances. While evil is personified in Dan and Medusa, evil in the story broadly represents evil in the world and in Elizabeth’s past. She must learn how to respond to it and find her own power.

“It is impossible to become a vegetable gardener without at the same time coming into contact with the wonderful strangeness of human nature.”

The Vegetable Garden gives Elizabeth a reprieve from her journey with evil. Her inner self-discovery features destructive “strangeness,” but the vegetable garden gives her positive “strangeness.” Her role as a vegetable gardener also gives her a part in her community—something she struggled to participate in before. With the garden, she contributes to a greater need beyond herself.

“They drew all the attention of life to themselves, greedily, hungrily.”

Elizabeth thinks this about Camilla, and the negative presentation connects the racist, snobbish Camilla to Dan and Medusa. This parallel shows Elizabeth is making the connection between her inner demons and their external equivalents. Camilla is not violent or overtly evil, but her inability to be accepting and kind is representative of a larger problem that Elizabeth has often experienced.

“The victim is really the most flexible, the most free person on earth. He doesn’t have to think up endless laws and endless falsehoods. His jailer does that. His jailer creates the chains and the oppression.”

This quote juxtaposes the victim of racism with the racist and reaches the conclusion that the victim has more freedom. They’re not arrested by “endless law” and lies. This mirrors Elizabeth’s exit from apartheid South Africa and journey toward being part of a new community. She is rejecting that those in power have power over her and reclaiming her life away from the laws that restrained her.

“Find another punch-bag for your girl. I’m not her match.”

Using a blunt tone, Elizabeth asks Sello to make Medusa go away. While it was never made clear that this was in Elizabeth’s power all along, Elizabeth grows to be self-aware enough to understand her own power. In banishing Medusa, Elizabeth becomes less of a victim and begins to find strength in herself.

“[T]hough a woman, lived by the general’s code. She formulated her own broad definition of it. Never wage war on an inferior.”

Elizabeth uses military diction to cast herself as warrior—specifically, a general. Her belief about not batting “an inferior” gives the reader a hint as to why she didn’t aggressively confront Dan or Medusa. The story being told from a future perspective also means that this diction reflects her eventual role in power and how she will view herself after her journey has ended.

“God is people. There’s nothing up there. It’s all down here.”

As spiritual twins, Sello and Elizabeth share the same beliefs about God. Sello, too, thinks God resides with the people, not above them. This reflects Elizabeth’s (and Sello’s) broader view of the role of power in society—overt power is often evil. The greatest power comes from those who do not understand their own capabilities and do not take it for granted—like Elizabeth.

“People aren’t like that. They get up and work. They lose their thoughts in inventing things and battling with the problems of life. It’s not like this, a ruthless concentration on the obscene.”

Elizabeth juxtaposes her life with that of other people, and the comparison reinforces the symbolism of the vegetable garden. When she’s working there, she’s not focusing on her hellish process of self-discovery. She learns to be part of a community instead of hyper focusing on her inner demons.

“I like girls like this with that kind of hair. Your hair is not properly African.”

Dan compares Elizabeth unfavorably to Miss Sewing-Machine and alludes to her diverse racial background. Her hair isn’t “properly African” because her mom was white. Medusa belittling Elizabeth because of her racial makeup is reflective of Elizabeth’s past in apartheid South Africa.

“Because of what I see inside, Because of what I’m learning, internally.”

Tom asks Elizabeth why she opposes the Black Panthers and the Black Power movement, and Elizabeth alludes to her journey. It teaches her that dominance of any kind is adverse. Thus, Elizabeth applies what she learns from her internal world to the external world.

“But who had ever been faced with her circumstances? […] Who had ever had to live, over a period, with awful secrets and a nightmare like that, at once real and unreal?”

Elizabeth’s questions advance the claim that she’s a unique individual. She can face her circumstances and battle the nightmare because she’s not like everyone else. Despite this newfound power, Elizabeth simply wants to be like everyone else. This reflects her view on God and God’s role in society. Though she has power, she wants to be among the people.

“They were the last people on earth to be told about how to work and produce things with their own hands; they did that all the time.”

The Motabeng project becomes a source of condescension. The white instructors think that the villagers don’t already know how to work together and create good. The instructors are removed from the personality of the greater community and how accustomed the people of the village are to such tasks. The hierarchy and power of the instructors over the villagers create unnecessary distance and hostility.

“The only two personalities who projected before her an overwhelming power were Medusa and Dan.”

Power continues to symbolize wickedness. Dan and Medusa emanate power because they’re irredeemably evil. As no one can help them become good—they’re also helpless.

“They were hisses of hate.”

Elizabeth calls Dan’s dialogue “hisses of hate.” She uses alliteration, placing two words starting with the same letter near one another. The snake-like “h” sounds reinforce Dan’s evil.

“It’s you, you and Dan, you are so weak you don’t care where you put your penis. Why must I be the audience of shit?”

Elizabeth scolds Sello and Dan and brings in the motif of gender and sexuality. She depicts masculine sexuality not as powerful but a vile, uncontrollable lust. In this moment, she takes power over another conflict that has been plaguing her.

“There was nothing else for Elizabeth to do but continue the war with hell.”

Elizabeth brings back the military diction with the term “war.” She also alludes to predestination: It’s her fate to stay with the tortuous battle. Given that the narration occurs from a future Elizabeth post-battle, this language hints that she will come away victorious and that she now understands her worth.

“I seem to have taken a strange journey into hell and darkness. I could not grasp the darkness because at the same time I saw the light.”

Elizabeth continues to favor her spiritual journey over the treatment of mental health, coming out the other side without the interference of doctors or diagnoses but with a strong self-understanding. She also maintains the duality of good and bad with the terms “darkness” and “light.”