Birthday Girl

Although Birthday Girl is a romance, it portrays serious issues such as the impact of a neglectful upbringing. Both Pike and Jordan deal with less-than-ideal parenting in different capacities. Jordan’s mother left the family when Cam and Jordan were children, and their father, Chip, is not a present parent. Jordan frequently refers to the fact that Chip is known around town for his addiction to alcohol and his spendthrift habits. Chip’s wife and Jordan’s stepmother, Corinne, treats Jordan with apathy.

While Pike is a responsible father, his ex, Lindsay, is lax. Cole might love Lindsay very much, but Pike suggests that she often ignored Cole as a child, preferring to party rather than take care of her son. Because of Lindsay, Pike has had to be the overtly responsible parent, ignoring his personal happiness in the process. In this way, the novel suggests that neglectful parenting impacts not just children but also parents and adults.

Jordan and Cole have troubled relationships with themselves and others because of the neglect they have experienced. At the beginning of the novel, Cole is depicted as irresponsible, thoughtless, and unfocussed, often leaving Jordan to her own devices or even in dangerous situations, such as when he sends Jay McCabe to pick her up. Pike observes Cole’s neglect of Jordan and suggests that Cole has modeled himself after Lindsay. He notes, “I see hints of how his mom was with me in how he treats Jordan now. He’s neglectful” (85). This suggests that patterns of neglect have a lasting impact on families. Although Pike feels that he has been a responsible father, Cole feels alone. Jordan states that she and Cole stuck together because “at one time, [they] were all the other one had” (2). This suggests that both Pike and Lindsay may have inadvertently neglected Cole because of their interpersonal conflict.

Jordan’s neglectful childhood is more apparent and extreme. Her mother left when Jordan was four, in what Jordan ironically notes was a move to find herself. She has been in little contact with Jordan ever since. Chip and Corinne did not leave, nor did they actively abuse Jordan. However, Jordan notes that neglect is a variation of abuse: “I was never hit or starved or verbally abused. Just kind of forgotten, I guess” (75). Once Cam left home, Jordan felt like a “nobody” in her father’s trailer. Jordan has no financial or emotional support from her parents, which has made her fear abandonment. After she learns of Cole’s infidelity, Jordan notes, “My mom, Jay, Cole […] I keep wishing the lousiest people wanted me” (177). She admits that she has been wanting to break things off with Cole for a while but could not because of her fear of rejection.

In this way, the novel suggests that parental neglect continues to impact children through adulthood. Jordan is attracted to the older Pike in part because he offers her the security and warmth that her own parents did not. Further, Pike and Jordan desire each other because they subconsciously sense that they would be good, involved parents to future children. This is apparent in the sequence in which they babysit the neighbor’s kids.

The text sets up foils to “good” fathers and mothers. At the beginning of the novel, Pike observes that he does not like his neighbor Kyle Cramer because Kyle is a less-than-ideal husband and father. Pike hates how “he constantly hires babysitters when his kids are supposed to be spending time with him for the weekend” (57). Kyle is thus a foil to the more responsible Pike.

The novel’s happy resolution gives the characters a chance to evolve despite their parental trauma and be better parents themselves. Cole rebuilds his relationship with Pike, joins the Navy, and becomes a responsible father. Pike and Jordan have a child whom they bring up mindfully. Having witnessed the trauma of parental neglect, these characters ensure that they do their best by their children.