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17 pages 34 minutes read

Taylor Mali

How Falling in Love is like Owning a Dog

Fiction | Poem | Adult | Published in 2002

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Background

Literary Context

The American poetry slam movement is rooted in the ancient and intimate tradition of oral storytelling. For thousands of years, storytelling has been a principal tool in passing on cultural knowledge and beliefs from one generation to the next. Stories in this tradition instruct, but they also entertain, ensuring the continuation of this practice throughout history due to its fluidity.

Contemporary oral traditions, such as spoken word performances, combine the rebellious, jazz-inspired pacing of the Beat generation with a more confessional style modeled after other poets writing in the 1950s and 1960s. Author and researcher Susan B. A. Somers-Willett discusses the tenets of modern storytelling in her critical essay, “Slam Poetry: Ambivalence, Gender, and Black Authenticity in ‘Slam,’” highlighting the influences, evolution, and the places that oral storytelling and modern slams hold in contemporary times.

Poetry slams are “competitive versions of local poetry readings [that] emerged in the late 20th century as a literary-performative genre of protest and celebration” (Somers-Willett, Susan B. A. “Slam Poetry: Ambivalence, Gender, and Black Authenticity in Slam.” Text, Practice, Performance Journal of Cultural Studies, 3.1: 37–63, 2001). Similar to ancient Greek poetry competitions, slam poets “perform their own work in three-minute time slots, which is in turn judged Olympic-style from zero to ten by randomly-chosen members of the audience […] After several rounds of elimination, the poet with the highest score is declared the winner and is awarded a cash prize or title” (Somers-Willett, Susan B. A. “Slam Poetry: Ambivalence, Gender, and Black Authenticity in Slam.” Text, Practice, Performance Journal of Cultural Studies, 3.1: 37–63, 2001).

Taylor Mali was actively writing and performing poetry during the genesis of the poetry slam, operationalizing his written work during performances on the stages of New York City. Mali uses slam to share his private experiences and emotions publicly, exposing how slam artists like himself are more than just competitors, but rather, are real people, entering into a vulnerable and sacred exchange with audiences. Mali’s poetic voice, tone, and literary devices are all more easily identifiable when heard aloud; for example, verbal pauses indicate poetic line breaks. Mali’s poem “How Falling in Love is like Owning a Dog” is one of his most well-known slam pieces (see: Further Reading “Listen to Poem”) because his intonation and facial expressions add more nuance to the already complex piece of writing.

Somers-Willett cites “the Black Arts Movement, jazz, early rap, and hip-hop” as essential influences to the rise of slam poetry as well as the success of white slam artists like Mali (Somers-Willett, Susan B. A. “Slam Poetry: Ambivalence, Gender, and Black Authenticity in Slam.” Text, Practice, Performance Journal of Cultural Studies, 3.1: 37–63, 2001). Therefore, the American slam poetry movement would not look the same if it were not for the Black artists and activists who challenged constraints of traditional highbrow poetry. Slam poetry endeavors to make poetry accessible to the masses, complimenting Mali’s own ethos that poetry is an art form based in connection, an art form that everyone ought to enjoy whether they are the writers, performers, or audience members taking part in the intimate exchange of storytelling.

Philosophical Context

Since the beginning of time, artists of all kinds—poets, novelists, sculptors, musicians, painters, actors—have been expressing and pondering the nature of love. There is perhaps no greater mystery than love. “How Falling in Love is like Owning a Dog” is Taylor Mali’s philosophical contribution to exploring love’s elusive nature. Mali immediately refers to love as a “big responsibility” (Line 1); there is trepidation here, a fear of being responsible for protecting and nurturing another person’s heart. This is a perilous venture because loved ones have the potential to break each other’s hearts and cause irreparable suffering. Mali emphasizes the truth of this “especially in a city like New York” (Line 2), where fast-paced city dwellers might have trouble slowing down and getting to thoroughly know one person in a city of millions, especially where there is always someone or something more exciting around the corner. However, it might be worth taking a chance on love for that “sense of security” (Line 4), which assures you that you are not alone.

Mali believes that this sense of security is something that needs to be nourished and exercised. Love, in its infant stages, is like a newborn crying to alert its caregiver of its needs: “Love wakes you up all hours of the night with its needs / It needs to be fed so it will grow and stay healthy” (Lines 13-14). Love is comparable to new life because it depends on another to thrive and develop a lasting bond. Love is both fragile and bold, asserting itself and making its needs known. Love is also always associated with the heart, which, anatomically, is a muscle; therefore, “love loves exercise” (Line 30) and maintains its strength over time with the continued effort of reciprocity.

However, after this nourishment tends to the roots of love, there is sometimes a need to give love wings. There is an adage that says “if you love someone, let them go.” Supposedly, if it is true love, that someone will return. Mali pays tribute to this adage when he says, “Throw things away and love will bring them back, / again, and again, and again” (Line 37), and “love loves you and never stops” (Line 40): In this poem, Mali believes in the philosophy that love is everlasting and unconditional.

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By Taylor Mali