I Will Always Write Back

“I was beginning to see parallels: The Africans wanted to be free from British rule, just as colonial Americans did two hundred years earlier.”

When Caitlin chooses Martin as her pen pal, she knows little about Zimbabwe. Her mother explains to her that Zimbabwe was formerly known as Rhodesia and used to be under British colonial rule. To explain the effects of colonialism to Caitlin, her mother uses the US as an example for comparison, as the US was also formerly under British colonial rule. Caitlin still struggles with understanding the concept of colonialism, despite her mother’s explanation.

“School is your only hope […] Otherwise you will end up like me.”

Here, Martin’s mother expresses the importance of education to her son. Martin’s mother grew up in a poor rural family in Zimbabwe. She had to drop out of school at age 12 to support her family. She pushes Martin to do well in school, accepting nothing less than top scores, because she wants him to gain opportunities she never had the chance to pursue.

“I promised her I would not let her down, and I hoped she would do the same.”

In the closing of many of Martin’s letters to Caitlin, he often states that he will write back no matter what. The promise suggests a larger investment in the growing friendship between Martin and Caitlin. Over time, this promise will become more meaningful, as they manage to stay in touch throughout Martin’s economic struggles and also through global conflict, such as the political shift in the relationship between the US and Zimbabwe following the September 11 terrorist attacks.

“I know it may sound naïve, but I thought then, as a twelve-year-old girl, what I think now: Regardless of the color of our skin, we’re all the same.”

As an adult, Caitlin reflects on her early exchanges with Martin. While Martin is Black and she is white, Caitlin knows from an early age that they can still find common ground, despite their differences. This belief is what leads her to eventually claim Martin as a member of her own family.

“People often said money grew on trees in America. Seeing this crisp green bill tucked so neatly in Caitlin’s letter made me think this may have been true.”

When Martin receives a US dollar from Caitlin and her request for him to send her a Zimbabwean dollar in return, in order to compare currency, he is astounded by the freedom with which people in the US can give money away. One Zimbabwean dollar is worth a day’s groceries for Martin’s family. Caitlin’s request for Martin to send her Zimbabwean money in exchange for her US dollar demonstrates her misunderstanding of the economic difference between the US and Zimbabwe, especially when it comes to the inflation rate between the US dollar and the Zimbabwean dollar.

“He feels like a member of my family.”

After several correspondences, Caitlin and Martin’s friendship has grown tremendously. While Caitlin’s other classmates have stopped writing to their pen pals after a handful of exchanges, Caitlin continues to write to Martin. Her exchange with Martin is so frequent that her friends and other members of her family know who he is and how important he is to her. When friends tease Caitlin for having an “African boyfriend,” her retort is always that Martin feels like a brother to her, rather than a crush. In this way, Caitlin begins to think of Martin as a member of her family.

“I changed into it immediately. The material felt so good against my skin. I had never owned anything new in my life. Even our school uniforms, which we had to buy each year, were secondhand, and often thin or torn in spots. This shirt was thick and smelled sweet, like ripe fruit […] Either way, it made me feel powerful, like Superman putting on his cape.”

Caitlin sends Martin a new Reebok t-shirt for his birthday. She does not know that this gesture is especially meaningful for Martin, who has never owned anything new in his life. For someone of his class status in Zimbabwe, the only way to access clothing featuring brand names is through the used clothing market. However, even used clothing is a luxury. Thus, when Martin puts on his shirt from Caitlin, he feels as if his class status has been elevated.

“I looked forward to receiving Martin’s letters more than going roller skating on Friday nights or to the mall on the weekends. He was introducing me to a whole other world, one I had never imagined before we started writing to each other.”

Since Caitlin has become pen pals with Martin, her priorities in life have shifted. While she had previously been concerned with developing a popular social life and was absorbed in petty friendship conflicts, Martin’s presence in her life has introduced her to the world beyond her town. As Martin shares about his life in Zimbabwe, Caitlin feels her understanding of the world expand beyond what she knows. Her concerns in life have shifted through Martin’s influence.

“I immediately put the new photo under the piece of glass on my desk, next to the first one he sent. Looking at them side by side, I realized that we were growing up together, so far apart.”

At the beginning of Caitlin’s correspondence with Martin, she sends him pictures of her with the request that he send her a photograph of him in response. Caitlin doesn’t know at the time how difficult this is for Martin to do, as his family would have to hire a photographer and use the money that the family needs for food and rent. At first, Martin sends Caitlin the only photograph of himself from a younger age. However, when Caitlin requests a more recent photograph, Martin and his family go to great efforts to hire a photographer to take a photograph of him. When Caitlin finally receives the more recent photograph, she treasures it.

“I think he was actually trying to protect me from knowing how incredibly hard his life was.”

As an adult, Caitlin reflects on her earlier correspondences with Martin. When they first started to write to one another, Martin had taken great care to not reveal his family’s impoverished circumstances. As a result, a young Caitlin thought that Martin’s life growing up was largely like her own. However, she comes to learn that there are certain aspects of Martin’s home life and economic situation that he withholds from her at first.

“As the country became more troubled, my father stopped listening to music, and singing. He was slowly just giving up.”

One of Martin’s father’s prized possessions is a boombox that he uses to listen to music, as a way of distracting himself from his family’s circumstances. However, as the economy in Zimbabwe starts to decline, Martin’s father’s job at the paper mill becomes increasingly precarious, leading to increasing debt for the family. Martin finds out that his father had put the boombox up for collateral to borrow money from neighbors to pay for his school fees. As his father is not able to pay back the loan, a neighbor has come to collect the boombox, depriving the family of any remainder of music in their home. With the music gone, so is Martin’s father’s hope for things to get better.

“And then there was Caitlin, who sent a letter every few weeks. I had no way to respond. She also kept asking for more photos. I realized she didn’t understand how impossible this was for me. It was my fault for not explaining it to her, but I didn’t want her to know of my struggles. They seemed too low for her. I liked that she thought I was a kid just like her.”

While Martin’s home life becomes increasingly tense due to his father’s precarious job situation and the declining economy in Zimbabwe, Caitlin is not aware of Martin’s troubles. Caitlin does not know that requests for more letters and photographs require expenses that Martin’s family cannot afford at the moment. Martin refrains from telling Caitlin the details of his troubles at first because he does not want Caitlin to think that he is unlike her. He wants to preserve his dignity in Caitlin’s eyes.

“I had the luxury of not being interested in school, while Martin was actually unable to go. It seemed so unfair.”

After learning of Martin’s struggles to attend school due to his family’s inability to afford the fees, Caitlin reflects on her own educational privilege. In the US, it is legally required for all youth to attend school. Caitlin takes this privilege for granted. However, it is a privilege that is not afforded to everyone in Zimbabwe.

“I started to look at my own life in a new way. I saw all the things I took for granted—which cereal to eat for breakfast, or whether or not I wanted ice cream or cookies for dessert. These decisions were total luxuries. I got to choose.” 

When Caitlin learns about Martin’s family’s struggles to make ends meet, she begins to reassess her own life. Not only does she not have to worry about her education, she also never has to worry about food. Whereas Martin’s family can barely afford sadza, Caitlin’s family cannot only provide steady food for her but also grant her options to a variety of food. Caitlin realizes that she not only has access to food as a basic right but also the privilege of choosing between different kinds of food. Martin does not.

“The international community was giving up on Zimbabwe—I hoped Caitlin would not give up on me.”

As the political and economic situation in Zimbabwe grows direr, people riot and protest. Since Caitlin and her family have started to send money to Martin, Martin and his family have become dependent on their funds to survive. For Martin, these funds enable him to pay the school fees necessary to re-enroll in classes and prepare for his exams. However, as the postal service has started confiscating mail with money in it, Martin worries that the funds Caitlin sends will not make it to him. He prays that she will continue to believe in him enough to support his education.

“Our life is changing now through you.”

With the financial support of Caitlin and her family, Martin and his family are able to afford rent and food for everyone following Martin’s father being laid off from his job. Due to inflation, one US dollar can go very far in Zimbabwe. Thus, Caitlin and her family are able to also pay Martin’s school fees and help him along his path to eventually study in the US. Without the financial help of Caitlin and her family, Martin and his family would not have been able to keep their home and survive.

“Thank you for those durable shoes you gave us! Though they were not my size, they are the best I have ever seen. My mom is the only one whose shoe size they were so we gave her all the two pairs. Faithfully, these are her first durable, expensive nice pairs of shoes, I thank you for this. She no longer walks barefooted and she is now counted in society.”

In Martin’s letter of gratitude to Caitlin, he thanks her for sending his family a care package that includes several articles of clothing and candy. As the pair of shoes that she sends to Martin do not fit him, he decides to give them to his mother, who has never owned a real, durable pair of shoes. Martin tells Caitlin that by owning a pair of shoes, his mother is now “counted in society”—recognized as not just an impoverished person but someone of social significance. The shoes become a symbol of rising in social status.

“I vowed never to be mean to Amanda, or anyone else like her, ever again. If anything, I would stick up for her.”

Learning about Martin’s family’s impoverished circumstances has given Caitlin a new lens for understanding poverty in the US. She recalls a former classmate, Amanda, whose appearance suggests that she is economically disadvantaged. She regrets judging Amanda for her poverty now that she sees how it has impacted Martin’s family. Through Martin’s influence, she promises to advocate for people like Amanda who are socially disadvantaged.

“If he does not finish his O-levels and go on for his A-levels, he will rot and die in Zimbabwe.”

When Caitlin’s mother contacts Mr. Samupindi, the headmaster at Martin’s school, he relays to her the grim reality of being poor in Zimbabwe. Mr. Samupindi tells Caitlin’s mother that Martin is an exceptionally promising young student and that the only way he can escape poverty is through education. If he does not complete his O-levels and move on to pursue his A-levels, he will remain poor in Zimbabwe and never ascend socially and economically. Further, there’s a good chance that the escalating tension and conflicts in Zimbabwe will have grave effects on him.

“They say if you cannot afford to live in town or city, then go die in the rural areas and give chance to those who can afford to live in the city.”

Martin describes life in Zimbabwe across different geographies. There are different levels of poverty across terrains, with rural areas being the poorest. As Martin and his family live in the town of Mutare, they experience a level of poverty unique to towns and cities. Every day, they grow closer to moving to a rural area, as it becomes increasingly difficult for them to financially sustain urban life.

“I could soften our poverty with my words, and dress it up in her clothes, but these images told the truth. I prayed that she could handle it.”

After Caitlin’s generosity, Martin decides that it is time to tell her the truth about his family’s poverty. In the past, he has glossed over the details of his impoverished life. However, since Caitlin has expressed her care and involvement in such a meaningful way, Martin decides that she deserves to know how his family actually lives.

“My mother may have been strict, and tough on all of us, but she was the spine of our family. We walked upright because of her. Caitlin was the reason I could go to school; my mother was the reason I wanted to.”

When Martin finds out that his mother has contracted malaria, he starts to fear that she may die without resources to treat the disease. As he reflects on her impact on his life, he uses the metaphor of the spine to describe the essential support she provides for the rest of his family. She has always taken care of everyone and pushed Martin to pursue a better life for himself. Whereas Caitlin can provide financial support for his education, he notes that his mother is the reason why he wants to work as hard as he does and improve the situation of his family.

“I kept my promise to my mother, the one I made right before I left for Victoria Falls and Villanova, that even though I was leaving her, it was only to be a better son to her and my father, and the best brother to my siblings. My dream to come to America was never for me alone.”

When Martin reflects on his journey, he never forgets his mother’s sacrifices. Studying in the US means leaving his family behind and not being sure when he will get to see them again. However, Martin retains a sense of closeness to his family by remembering that all his hard work is for them. His family is his motivation for doing well in school and he promises that he will help them improve their economic circumstances in the future.