52 pages • 1 hour read
Sheryl Sandberg, Nell ScovellLean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead
Nonfiction | Book | Adult | Published in 2013A modern alternative to SparkNotes and CliffsNotes, SuperSummary offers high-quality Study Guides with detailed chapter summaries and analysis of major themes, characters, and more.
Chapters 2–3Chapter Summaries & Analyses
Chapter 2 Summary: “Sit at the Table”
Sandberg describes a meeting where every woman besides herself sat at the side of the room rather than at the conference table. This moment woke Sandberg to the ways women choose to remain observers rather than participants at work—a decision Sandberg attributes to low self-esteem. On that note, she describes a speech she heard in college on imposter syndrome, or "feel[ing] undeserving and guilty" about earned recognition (28). The speech resonated with the women in the room, which Sandberg sees as a sign of a deeper problem:
We [women] consistently underestimate ourselves. Multiple studies in multiple industries show that women often judge their own performance as worse than it actually is, while men judge their own performance as better than it actually is…Even worse, when women evaluate themselves in front of other people or in stereotypically male domains, their underestimations can become even more pronounced(29–30).
Unfortunately, society as a whole tends to underestimate women as well; Sandberg notes, for instance, that the media often attributes women's success to external factors rather than their own skills or characteristics.
Sandberg explains that insecurity has affected her throughout her life, first in high school and then at Harvard, where she initially struggled to keep up. Even after settling in, however, she continued to feel out of place; she recounts a story about studying for a philosophy test with her roommate and her brother David, noting that while all three of them went on to earn As, David was the only one who correctly predicted he would in advance. As Sandberg says:
These experiences taught me that I needed to make both an intellectual and an emotional adjustment. I learned over time that while it was hard to shake feelings of self-doubt, I could understand that there was a distortion. I would never possess my brother's effortless confidence, but I could challenge the notion that I was constantly headed for failure(33).
Something as simple as faking confidence, Sandberg suggests, can help women feel better about themselves.
This is important in part because professional success often hinges on seizing opportunities as they arise. Women, however, are less likely to apply for or accept positions they fear they're not entirely qualified for. Since even conscientious managers may not have the time to cajole hesitant employees, women as a group tend to lose out. Sandberg recounts, for instance, how she once declined to take any more questions following a speech, explaining that while the women in the audience all put their hands down, the men kept their hands up. For that reason, Sandberg urges women to constantly assert and challenge themselves, even as she encourages employers to actively recruit promising female candidates.
Chapter 3 Summary: “Success and Likeability”
Sandberg cites a study in which people read case studies of two entrepreneurs. The histories were identical in everything but gender, but readers found "Heidi" more selfish and less easygoing than "Howard." This backs up a point Sandberg made in Chapter One: that people often perceive powerful or successful women as less likeable than their male counterparts, solely because ambition and strength violate traditional female gender norms.
Sandberg suggests that most women know on an intuitive level that their coworkers will view them less favorably if they appear too eager for success. The result, Sandberg says, is that women use self-deprecation and modest goals to "put [themselves] down before others can" (41). In business school, for instance, Sandberg "instinctively knew" that her life would be more difficult if she revealed she'd won an award for academic excellence, despite the fact that her co-recipients (all men) talked about it openly (42).
All of this creates a no-win situation for women seeking professional advancement: "If a woman is competent, she does not seem nice enough. If a woman seems really nice, she is considered more nice than competent" (43). Furthermore, the belief that women are naturally kind and sensitive can increase their workload; tasks that are seen as "favors" when a man performs them may simply be expected of a woman. Gender norms may also negatively impact a woman's ability to negotiate her salary, since doing so comes across as demanding (by way of contrast, Sandberg notes that women negotiating on behalf of someone else—for instance, their company—are actually more successful than men).
Sandberg's solution is not for women to back down, but she does advise them to approach their careers with an eye toward how their actions are likely to be perceived; she suggests, for instance, that women seeking a raise preface their request with a general statement on the gender pay gap, because doing so "position[s] them as connected to a group and not just out for themselves" (47).Sandberg acknowledges that there is a danger in advising women to play to gender norms, but argues that the end results—more women in positions of power—will justify the means; ultimately, seeing more women in demanding and powerful roles will normalize female assertiveness. Since any highly-visible figure is likely to attract some criticism, however, Sandberg also quotes Arianna Huffington's advice on handling negative feedback: "We should let ourselves react emotionally and feel whatever anger or sadness being criticized evokes for us. And then we should quickly move on" (49–50).
Chapters 2–3 Analysis
Like the introduction, Chapter Two opens with an anecdote drawn from Sandberg's work history—in this case, her observations of a meeting she hosted. Sandberg will return to this basic format throughout the book, using a brief narrative to prefigure or symbolize the crux of the argument she'll be making in the chapter that follows. In part, this is a way of ensuring that her key points stick in her readers' minds; it is typically easier to remember a story than the findings of a study, so Sandberg describes professional women hanging back from a conference table to encapsulate the broader idea that women may harm their careers through self-doubt and passivity.
In light of Chapter Three, however, Sandberg's decision to incorporate so many personal anecdotes also seems like a strategic decision. Sandberg's core claim in this chapter is that working women are in the impossible position of needing to appear both exceptionally nice and exceptionally competent (the two would not necessarily conflict, but Sandberg argues that the feminine ideal of "niceness" essentially precludes being anything other than nice). The fact that we perceive women who are assertive or authoritative as less agreeable, however, puts Sandberg herself in a bind. We're generally more inclined to agree with arguments made by likeable people, so Lean In needs to come across as both informed and friendly in order to be effective. Confiding in her readers about personal experiences (for example, alluding to her pregnancy in the introduction) helps Sandberg present herself as a pleasant, open person.
Chapters Two and Three also continue to expand on themes like the effects of gender norms in the workplace, and the need for individual women to "lean in" to combat those effects. Interestingly, while Sandberg believes that many traditionally "feminine" traits—cautiousness, and modesty among them—can hold women back in the workplace, she does not advocate simply conforming to male standards of behavior; in fact, she urges women at one point to work within stereotypes of female selflessness. This speaks, in part, to the pragmatism of Sandberg's arguments: ultimately, she is interested more in results (i.e. greater societal power for women) than methods (i.e. complying with gender roles as necessary). However, given what Sandberg says about women's tendency to respond to events emotionally, it is worth considering whether and to what extent Sandberg feels conventionally-feminine behavior is valuable. Perhaps Sandberg feels that there could be a place for those traits and behaviors even in the workplace, provided they could be disentangled from societal ideals of femininity.
