Mostly What God Does: Reflections on Seeking and Finding His Love Everywhere

Guthrie shares a personal story about getting her first tattoo at the age of 51. The tattoo, bearing the words “All My Love,” is a copy of her father’s handwriting from a love letter he wrote to her mother. Guthrie explains that she decided to get this tattoo as a way to honor her father, who passed away when she was 16, and to reflect on what she has learned about faith and love throughout her life.

She recounts the discovery of her father’s letter by her mother when her son was born. Guthrie had wanted to name her son after her father, Charles, but there was a family debate about the correct spelling of his nickname, “Charley.” The letter resolved this debate and provided a meaningful connection to her father.

The phrase “All My Love” becomes a personal mantra for Guthrie, representing her understanding of God’s love. She references Eugene Peterson’s “The Message,” a contemporary paraphrase of the Bible, which presented the verses from Ephesians 5:1-2 in a way that deeply resonated with her: “Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you” (6).

This interpretation led Guthrie to a realization about the nature of God and his constant love. She reflects on how these words helped reframe her concept of God, moving from a distant, judgmental figure to one who is loving and ever-present. Guthrie acknowledges the challenge of maintaining faith, especially in times of personal failure and disappointment, but emphasizes the importance of believing in God’s unwavering love.

Throughout the chapter, she encourages individuals to embrace this understanding of God’s love and to let it guide their lives. She stresses that the essence of faith is to trust in God’s love, even amidst life’s challenges and uncertainties. This belief, she asserts, has the power to transform lives and bring a deeper sense of purpose and connection to God.

Guthrie starts with a disclaimer, comparing her writing to pharmaceutical advertisements that list numerous side effects. She clarifies that the book is not a memoir in the conventional sense and shares her reluctance to write a comprehensive personal history with a lack of clear memories.

Guthrie reflects on conversations with her friend Jenna Bush Hager, who encouraged her to write about faith by recalling a time Guthrie had a fever-induced epiphany about God—an epiphany Guthrie doesn’t even remember. This leads her to emphasize that she can’t write about things she can’t remember or about deeply personal and painful experiences like her divorce, which was a challenging period in her life.

Despite not wanting to delve into specific painful memories, Guthrie acknowledges that discussing struggles is essential in a book about faith. She believes that these struggles, while personal and sometimes untold in detail, shape one’s relationship with God. She notes that faith often develops and is tested during crises and adversities. Guthrie concludes by explaining her approach: rather than detailing every hardship, she focuses on how God’s love carried her through and what she learned from those experiences.

She recalls the “Stuart Smalley” skit from SNL, which featured exaggerated self-affirmations. Guthrie finds self-affirmations uncomfortable because she was raised to avoid self-praise and remain humble. She shares a childhood memory of a pastor’s anecdote about praying for humility, which resulted in a humiliating fall. This story impacted Guthrie, instilling a fear of humiliation and a commitment to humility.

Guthrie explains her aversion to self-love and self-affirmation, shaped by her upbringing that equated such behaviors with pride and sinfulness. She reflects on the biblical commandment “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Mark 12:31), which she initially interpreted to mean focusing on others as much as oneself, rather than promoting self-love.

This perspective changed when she encountered the commandment through a meditation app called Hallow. During a Lectio Divina session, she had a revelation that the commandment also implicitly includes loving oneself. This new understanding helped her realize that God’s love includes love for oneself, countering her previous beliefs that self-love was sinful.

Guthrie concludes that true humility involves recognizing one’s need for God, rather than self-sufficiency. This understanding allows space for God’s love to fill and transform, leading to genuine self-love. She emphasizes that God’s love is the foundation for self-acceptance and confidence, and that this love is contagious when one stays close to God.

Guthrie shares her journey to motherhood, which began at age 42. Contrary to stereotypes, she explains that her delay in having children was not due to prioritizing her career or enjoying a single lifestyle, but rather due to challenges in finding a life partner and experiencing a short-lived marriage in her mid-thirties.

Guthrie met her future husband, Michael Feldman, at his 40th birthday party, where they instantly bonded despite both having commitment issues. After dating for over five years, they got engaged in 2013 and married the following year. Despite concerns about fertility at their ages, Guthrie became pregnant and gave birth to their daughter, Vale, in 2014, followed by their son, Charley, two years later.

Guthrie reflects on how becoming a mother deepened her understanding of God’s love. She draws parallels between the unconditional love a parent has for their child and God’s love for humanity. Parenthood, for Guthrie, is a real-life metaphor for the divine relationship, highlighting the joy, worry, and unconditional commitment that characterize both.

She describes the transformative experience of holding her children for the first time and the overwhelming emotions that accompanied those moments. Guthrie also recounts the challenges of motherhood, including her son’s difficult phase at age four, which tested her patience and resilience. Despite these struggles, she emphasizes that a parent’s love remains unshakable, mirroring God’s steadfast love for His children.

Guthrie concludes by underscoring that God’s love is independent of one’s actions or feelings toward Him. This unconditional love, akin to that of a mother, is the foundation of her faith.

When Guthrie’s daughter Vale was about two years old they listened to a CD of hymns given by Guthrie’s mother. While listening, Vale exclaims, “That’s my song!” (38) upon hearing “Jesus Loves Me.” This moment serves as a reminder of God’s love.

Guthrie discusses the challenge of consistently feeling loved by God amid life’s chaos and hardships. She references Jesus’s instruction to “remain in my love” (38), likening it to a Palmolive commercial where hands are soaked in dish soap, emphasizing the need to immerse oneself in God’s love. She notes that feeling God’s love isn’t always easy, especially during personal or global struggles.

Guthrie suggests that maintaining the knowledge of God’s love is crucial, even if the feeling is not always present. She compares it to a marriage where love is a daily choice and commitment, rather than a constant emotional high. Using the metaphor of a garden, she explains that relationships, including with God, require consistent effort and nurturing.

The chapter also highlights the importance of recognizing oneself as loved by Jesus, similar to how the apostle John referred to himself as “the one whom Jesus loved” (43). Guthrie encourages embracing this identity, asserting that it can transform one’s perspective and actions.