Moxie

“I know that now she’s tired and exhausted and worried about paying all the bills. But there was a time when she listened to this music. When she raged and roared and rioted. When she wasn’t dutiful. There was a time when she lived out loud. And no one can take that away from her.”

Part of Vivian’s maturity is recognizing the compromises of adulthood and the sacrifices her mother has made for Vivian. Vivian’s inspiration to create Moxie comes from the wish to connect or understand this younger, wilder version of her mother because Vivian feels she could identify with and relate to her. Vivian has been dutiful in part because of her mother’s example, but discovering the shoebox and her mother’s past makes Vivian wonder if rebellion and resistance could be the answers to the anger she’s feeling.

“Something charges through my body, and I look down and see my hands are balled up into fists. I stare at them for a moment, surprised, and then will them to release.”

Vivian describes her anger at the football players’ offensive behavior and harassment as a force that takes over her body, to her own surprise. She has been choosing to go along with the sexist culture at her school and not speak out, but part of her coming-of-age arc means choosing to speak out against the injustice she witnesses.

“I’m a girl who studies for tests. I’m a girl who turns in homework on time. I’m a girl who tells her grandparents she’ll be over in five minutes and shows up in three. I’m a girl who doesn’t cause a fuss. I even shrink in my desk when a teacher calls on me in class. I’m a girl who would prefer to evaporate into the ether rather than draw even positive attention to herself.”

Vivian’s description establishes who she is at the beginning of the novel and is also the beginning of her character evolution. This passage establishes how any attention feels like negative attention. Vivian’s maturing doesn’t mean changing this part of herself but rather adding to her qualities with a sense of responsibility to speak up when she feels something is unfair.

“I’m worried that talking about it too much might make me look suspicious even though me being the creator of Moxie is about as likely as me visiting the International Space Station or inventing the cure for cancer in my chem class. At least that’s what the people who know me would say.”

Part of Vivian’s coming of age is feeling that new aspects of her personality are emerging and being given voice, and this analogy captures how incredibly out of character it will appear to others that she’s created Moxie. She compares her speaking up through Moxie as a type of science fiction.

“The word feminist is a really scary, weird word to people. It makes people think you hate men. I’d rather just say I’m for, you know, equality.”

The author uses Claudia as the character to introduce this common misperception about feminism, which is that it means being angry, disruptive, and hating men. The novel demonstrates how these perceptions are then used to undermine the legitimacy of complaints about inequality and divert attention from claims of injustice. The softer “equality” angle is for those who don’t want to be seen as troublesome; worse yet, the gentler approach doesn’t draw attention, ridicule, retaliation, or punishment from those defending the status quo.

“I realize I’m waiting. Waiting for what, I’m not sure. Maybe for the sound of my mother’s keys in the front door. Or maybe for something important to start for real.”

Creating Moxie was a step in Vivian’s character arc of committing to her quest. This passage serves as foreshadowing as she’s currently not certain where Moxie will go, but when she sees others respond to the call and act, she realizes that she is hoping to inspire change.

“Making girls monitor their behavior and their appearance because boys are supposedly unable to control themselves? That is one of the oldest fucking tricks in the book.”

Lucy, the outsider, provides a new and, in this case, feminist perspective on life at East Rockport High when she identifies the dress code checks as sexist. Lucy sees them as public shaming and calls out the unsound logic that makes girls’ clothing choices responsible for male actions but fails to hold boys accountable for their own behavior. Like the shoebox, Lucy and Seth often provide the outside perspective that informs and motivates Vivian, making her see that the way things have been isn’t always fair or right.

“Dad, that’s ridiculous […] It’s just contributing to the narrative that girls have to monitor their bodies and behavior, and boys have the license and freedom to act like animals. Don’t you think that’s unfair to girls? Don’t you think that’s shortchanging boys?”

A further example of how the novel puts feminist notions under debate, Vivian’s mom in this passage chastises her own father for spouting the ‘boys will be boys’ excuse and points out the double standard of behavior that this idea reinforces. Vivian’s mother, Lisa Carter, is another means through which Vivian gains outside perspective on her experience.

“I keep picturing getting caught and probably getting suspended by Principal Wilson. I visualize the entire school knowing Moxie existed because of me. I would go from being an under-the-radar girl to a school weirdo. […] I would become a town weirdo, too.”

Vivian has been raised with the idea that girls are supposed to be quiet, compliant, and dutiful—the well-behaved Texas lady—which she is beginning to realize is a method of control. Her fear of being seen as weird or an outsider is part of the novel’s exploration of the power of cliques, in addition to the feminist and coming-of-age themes of Vivian finding her voice.

“The entire time I fill in the meaningless and pointless exercise, I think about the Riot Grrrl Manifesto [… that] said girls are a revolutionary soul force that can change the world for real. My chest feels heavy with something that feels scary and good at the same time. I picture myself running up to Kate McGowan after class and telling her how cool she is. The urge is so strong that maybe I’ll actually do it.”

Kate McGowan is one of the girls who takes the Moxie call to action a step further, showing how the movement grows through community. The concern that her schoolwork is pointless and teaching her nothing is an ironic and ongoing contrast to the life knowledge Vivian is gaining through her activism. The language to describe Vivian’s feelings is typical of the narrative—direct, unpretentious, true to a young adult’s vocabulary and voice.

“I don’t want to just hang out with Seth. I want to know what it feels like to have a boy’s lips on mine. I want to press my entire body up against his and kiss him. I want a hot, cool, smart boyfriend, not a hot, cool, smart boy friend.”

Part of Vivian’s maturity is the wish to have a boyfriend, to have romantic and, in time, sexual experiences. Her understanding of this longing goes hand-in-hand with the other desires and ambitions that she is developing over the course of the novel.

“The shock of what Jason’s just done makes me want to scream. I think maybe I want to cry, too, but tears don’t come out. There’s just a buzzing, sharp rage coursing through me.”

The novel sets up a contrast between Vivian’s elation when Seth asks her out on a real date and, right after that, the feeling of violation when a boy she doesn’t like touches her without her consent. The bump ’n’ grab is an escalation of the harassment the girls have been experiencing, again with no intervention from the school administration, and this tension motivates Vivian to produce another round of Moxie.

“I play a song for Claudia. It’s another one by Bikini Kill […] and something about the way Kathleen Hanna’s voice cries out—demanding to be heard as she sings about women and hurting and hunger and pain—makes me want to cry each time I hear it. But cry in a way that makes me feel good, like I’m confessing a scary secret. Or abandoning the heaviest load.”

Throughout the novel, music is an important tool that helps Vivian name, articulate, and process her emotions. When Claudia reports that she was assaulted in the hallway, Vivian shares music to help them both understand that her experience is an attack, not a joke or a compliment or a game. The failure of school administration to act appropriately to end this harassment speaks to the way women are silenced, blamed, and shamed when they are sexually assaulted, and Vivian uses the music of the Riot Grrrls to give herself and Claudia an outlet and a voice for expressing their feelings.

“So I’m asking you, girl to girl, to please stop all this nonsense with the stickers and remember to hold yourself to the standards of a Texas lady.”

Several ironies are at work in this passage. Principal Wilson gets cheerleader Emma Johnson to lecture the girls about “ladylike” behavior, which is code for behaving in ways that are pleasing and attractive to men. The move demonstrates how women can be anti-feminist, work in ways that undermine other women, and uphold oppressive systems. The dramatic irony emerges later when Emma Johnson uses Moxie as a protest when she herself is assaulted, and it turns out she put the stickers on Principal Wilson’s truck, showing that she supported the “nonsense” from the beginning.

“If I had the guts to admit I started Moxie, maybe Lucy would want to keep the fight going. The only trouble is, I think part of Moxie’s power is that it is a secret who started it. Would it be as powerful if everyone knew it was my idea?”

Vivian’s experience with Moxie explores how activism forms and is sustained. While she has kept her part in Moxie secret to avoid attention or trouble, she also realizes that the lack of ownership has its own power. Its reach as a communal organism would be limited if any one person claimed ownership, leadership, or control; all the girls can feel an ownership and partnership with Moxie if it has no clear creator. Vivian comes to believe that activism, like feminism, belongs to everyone and should not be controlled by an in-group or a clique.

“The highs I’m getting from our relationship […] are enough to dull the mix of anger and sadness I feel when I think about how Principal Wilson managed to stomp out Moxie in one threat-filled assembly.”

The image of Principal Wilson stomping on Moxie reflects how his out-of-measure threats have made the girls fear punishment for their resistance. Wilson sees the rights of the students to speak out and ask for redress for grievances as threats to his authority—a sure sign of an unfair or oppressive system.

“My boyfriend actually thinks it’s cool I got picked. Like it makes him cooler, which is just gross. And what’s also gross is it’s always a white girl who wins, anyway. And all the girls who aren’t white get pissed about it and it’s like, wait, isn’t it screwed up that anyone wins this bullshit in the first place?”

Mathieu creates believable dialogue for her adolescent characters, showing the vocabulary in which they express their ideas. Kiera, who is speaking, is also a character who makes Vivian aware of the implicit racism in the sexist behaviors at East Rockport. Kiera voices the irony that girls are pitted against one another in March Madness and take pride in being praised for their attractiveness to the boys deciding the brackets.

“He’ll never get how scary and crazy-making it is to feel like you belong to some big Boy Monster that decides it can grab you and touch you and rank you whenever and however it wants.”

The metaphor of the Boy Monster captures Vivian’s understanding that the offense behind the sexist behaviors—the grabbing, the ranking, even the joking ‘make me a sandwich’—is that it objectifies women, takes away their agency as individuals, and treats them as though they are valuable only to the extent they amuse or serve males. This moment is the first time Vivian realizes Seth doesn’t completely understand the harmful effects of the sexism. That difference creates conflict but also gives Vivian a way to reevaluate her position for herself and the reader.

“Some girls are dancing in the corners, moving their bodies with the freedom that comes when no boy is watching you. It feels buzzy and dizzy and sweaty and so, so, so joyful.”

A characteristic expression of Vivian’s voice, this passage conveys her elation at the feeling of solidarity and liberation created by the Moxie arts and crafts show, which creates a safe space for self-expression and joy. The competition and divisions of cliques disappear when they come together as a community of girls.

“Moxie isn’t all about me. And it’s certainly not about my mom. It belongs to all the girls at East Rockport High School. The heartbeat of the VFW hall is ours and ours alone.”

The image of the heartbeat captures how Vivian feels that Moxie has taken on a life of its own. It not only helped create a safe space at the hall where the girls could enjoy themselves without concerns about judgment or attack but also gave rise to a group with life and power—the goal of any communal effort, including social activism.

“I made Moxie […] I made the zines. Everyone keeps calling them newsletter, but they’re zines. I made the stickers, and I started the bathrobe thing and the stars-and-the-hearts-on-the-hands thing. It was me. I got inspired by my mom’s Riot Grrrl stuff from the ’90s.”

Vivian’s moment of truth when she tells Lucy she started Moxie shows how far she has come from being the dutiful girl worried she will get in trouble. She realizes creating Moxie requires that she not be silent any longer. This passage also works in the running joke that everyone keeps calling Moxie a newsletter when Vivian thinks of it as a zine and shows how Mathieu often leavens her serious topics with humor.

“Emma Johnson. Queen Emma. Cheer squad Emma. Vice president of the student council let’s-all-act-like-Texas-ladies Emma. That Emma.”

Vivian has perceived Emma Johnson as different from and unsympathetic to her because Emma conforms to and benefits from the sexist system, and Emma was the mouthpiece for the antifeminist “act like a lady” beliefs trotted out at the school assembly. Emma, Vivian’s foil, proves the catalyst that makes Vivian publicly claim her feminist beliefs and acknowledge her participation in Moxie.

“We keep marching, our feet trampling over Principal Wilson’s threats and our teachers’ warnings. We are marching because those words deserve to be run over. Steamrolled. Flattened to dust. We are marching in our Converse and our candy-colored flip-flops and our kitten heels, too. Our legs are moving, our arms are swinging, our mouths are set in lines so straight and sharp you could cut yourself on them.”

Vivian’s perception that their walkout is a march lends weight and gravitas to their civic protest. She thinks of their collective power with the image of a steamroller that can overcome the efforts of authorities to silence and disarm them. She uses the shoes as a metonym to represent the crowd, showing that all kinds of girls belong in the movement, which aims at the liberation of all. Their straight, sharp mouths are a contrast to the smiling pleasantness they’ve been taught ‘ladies’ are supposed to adopt.