Operation Sisterhood

“Mrs. Dougie did have a point about holding on to stories, even the ones you made up for yourself, like that you were perfectly happy being by yourself most of the time. Bo understood the power of the past. You could get a lot of comfort from the things you knew; better than worrying about the future, like middle school.”

Bo reflects on how she feels comfortable with the familiar. This passage sheds light on Bo’s character: She is someone who feels comfortable with the known and expected. However, part of this comes from her desire to save herself from heartache, rather than from an inherent aloofness. Bo does want to be a part of a larger group but tells herself that she is happy by herself, as that is all she has known.

“Bo had had to take a kitchen-safety course at Uptown Community Center—and she’d aced it, of course. Not one spill, and she’d been named the youngest winner of the Most Careful Cook Award.”

Bo reflects on how she is so well-versed in kitchen safety, that she has even won an award for it. This passage indicates more of Bo’s character traits: She is responsible and mature enough to handle herself in potentially dangerous situations with care. However, she can also err on the side of being too cautious, to the point where she can close herself from new experiences because she is risk averse.

“Mum wanted ‘Community and Stability and Like Sisters for You, Honey,’ and the thing was, Bo felt you either had sisters or you didn’t. Bo didn’t, and that was fine.”

Lola is excited for Bo to meet and get along with Bill’s family because there are three other girls Bo’s age who can provide Bo with sisterhood. Bo, however, dismisses the value of this initially. She has never experienced this sense of community, and her desire to feel included is, at this point, outweighed by her apprehensions about things changing. Lola, however, believes it is important for Bo; accordingly, once they move in, Lola keeps pushing Bo to spend time and bond with her new sisters. Over time, this proves to be a positive move.

“‘Congratulations,’ Bo said, because Sunday was jumping up and down, and that’s what everybody else was saying. She tried to keep her smile big and wide too, because she was happy for Mum and she liked Bill; this was just…a lot.”

Sunday walks in on Bill’s proposal to Lola and announces it to the rest of the family. This passage indicates several things: Firstly, it shows both Bo’s sense of overwhelm at the unexpected news and her unease with change and newness. It also shows her love for Lola and inherent thoughtfulness; considerate of Lola’s happiness, Bo hides her own feelings and joins in the felicitations. Finally, it also offers a glimpse of Sunday’s character: She is warm and welcoming by nature and is entirely enthused by the idea of Lola joining her family.

“Bo couldn’t say that sometimes there was too much togetherness these days. She could feel Sunday’s eyes follow her up the stairs, but she didn’t know what to say, so she just kept walking.”

Sunday wants to do things together with Bo and the other girls, while Bo resists this as often as she can. Bo feels overwhelmed by the sudden increase in the number of people she lives with and the volume of shared activities. Sunday’s extreme enthusiasm is also difficult for Bo to deal with, especially alongside the lack of time she has with Lola. However, Bo does not yet feel comfortable speaking her mind and expressing her need for personal space; hence, she comes up with excuses while feeling increasingly frustrated inside.

“So now they were going to be homeschoolers (or ‘freeschoolers,’ whatever), and Mum thought they already had people. Mum believed in having people. Bo liked to say she believed in being her own person.”

Bo reflects on the changes in her life, from becoming a “freeschooler” to the sudden, new community she and Lola have acquired. Lola’s belief in “having people” is mirrored by the other adults in the Dwyer-Saunders household. Lola integrates well with the other adults from the very beginning, and all of them together make an effort to strengthen their neighborhood community as well. Bo, on the other hand, resists opening herself up completely to her new sisters for a long time, especially as she worries that she is losing her individuality.

“Whenever I used to hear ‘It’s a fluid situation,’ that usually meant that things weren’t going so well. But in this family it’s supposed to be kind of a good thing, like part of going with the flow. But I know that that flow can turn into a waterfall […] quick fast, and I’m not trying to get caught out there.”

Bo reflects on the vastly different way her new family operates than she is used to. This passage highlights Bo’s discomfort and suspicion of fluidity and spontaneity. Because the latter can also mean unpredictability, Bo longs for the predictable, even if it is rigid, because it means she is prepared and will not be hurt.

“Bo smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. It was different doing the thing that made her feel most herself when she could never be by herself.”

Bo continues to resist her sisters’ attempts to join her in baking. Baking is a recurring motif in the books, and among other things, it speaks to Bo’s character. She views it as integral to her identity, and having to share it with her sisters feels like an invasion of something private.

“[T]he sisterhood in the sun felt so good that […] For a few moments, Bo didn’t mind anything, and it wasn’t until much later that she realized that she hadn’t even been baking. Just…vibing. It was a new feeling, and she liked it very much.”

Bo and her sisters join a couple of younger girls on the street in helping them with their street art. When Bo allows herself to get lost in the moment, she discovers that she does, in fact, enjoy the feeling of being part of a sisterhood and doing something together. These small discoveries are what help Bo eventually open up to the idea of trying new things, and are important pieces to her journey of Personal Growth and Finding One’s Voice.

“Her sisters. Living with them was definitely an adventure. Not Black Paris, and definitely not Lagos, but as Sunday decided to accompany Lee’s turn at Taboo on the keyboard while Lil danced to distract them both and somehow declared victory, Bo had to admit—this family was a trip.”

Bo learns that her mother-daughter trip to Paris and Lagos has to be postponed, and her sisters do their best to cheer her up. Their attempts work, especially as it involves music. This passage displays The Role of Community in Fostering Belonging and Support, and how music can play an integral role. Music is a recurring motif throughout the book and is something that unites the sisters on multiple occasions.

“‘Of course you still have your notes!’ said Sunday, wrapping Bo in a tight hug. ‘You really are just what this family needed.’ […] while Bo laughed, she wondered: Was this family just what she needed? And if so, why did she still feel itchy sometimes?”

As Bo settles into the family, she often faces conflicting feelings about her experiences with them. She enjoys being included and valued as a member of a group; however, she also feels overwhelmed and uncomfortable with the lack of personal time and space she feels. Processing these conflicting feelings and finding a way to navigate The Dynamics of Blended Families and Sisterhood forms one part of Bo’s journey of Personal Growth and Finding One’s Voice.

“Bo laughed. ‘She looks about the same age as the boy I babysit—used to babysit. Dougie.’ She stopped laughing. She used to do a lot of things.”

Bo meets Amy Johnson for the first time and is reminded of Dougie. Remembering Dougie saddens Bo briefly, as she thinks about a part of a life that she believes she has lost forever. Even though Bo has happy moments with her sister, she is still mourning huge parts of her past life. Quality time spent with the people she cares about, like Lola and Dougie, is one of the things she misses most.

“And there was something…loud about her new family that made Bo nervous and a little excited at the same time. Yes, they were weird, but they were wonderful too. It didn’t take long to see that.”

Bo reflects on how her new family is loud and wonderful at the same time. The mix of nervousness and excitement that Bo feels indicates the conflicting emotions she experiences in her initial time with the Dwyer-Saunders family. However, her acknowledgment that her family’s weirdness does not negate their wonderfulness displays personal growth: Bo is slowly opening up to new ways of viewing people and the world.

“‘Okay, first of all, you guys are going to have to start treating me like you treat each other,’ said Bo. ‘I can’t take you walking on eggshells all the time!’”

Bo calls out her sisters for being careful with her. This is something Bo herself is guilty of doing, as she hides her true feelings in a bid to not displease or offend. Over time, all of them learn the importance of honest communication if they are to function effectively as a blended family.

“Bo smiled to herself in the dark. She was pulling her weight. As long as the ideas and organizational skills kept flowing, her sisters would want her around. And Bo was realizing just how much she wanted to be around.”

Bo offers her ideas for the block party and is pleased when she can contribute effectively. Bo finds it increasingly important to do her part within the sisterhood, especially because she wants to be included and appreciated. This is a new feeling to Bo, and as she navigates this, it takes her a while to learn how to stay true to herself and her self-expression in the process. This is a part of Bo’s journey of Personal Growth and Finding One’s Voice.

“Anyway, it was hard enough staying focused on being good at sisterhood; belonging in a family that didn’t quite seem to fit in anywhere was not easy. She wondered if she was just too regular, and if that was a disappointment in her new wacky and sometimes wonderful world.”

As her tasks pile up, Bo begins to feel stressed out and over-extended. She is expending great energy to ensure that she fits in. Bo begins to feel insecure about herself and her value to the family, especially since she is experiencing that “weird” and “unusual” can be positive things, too. This insecurity contributes to her frustration of not feeling comfortable with expressing herself honestly.

“After a few minutes, Lil took a bow. ‘Let’s swing!’ she said to Bo and the boys. And even though they knew they’d be late getting home, the four of them marched back to the swings, then went on the slide, and then played tag, and finally walked home, sweaty and triumphant, having taken up space and hoping they’d meet an Icee lady along the way.”

After an unpleasant encounter with a white lady at the park, Bo and Lil defiantly take up space along with Marcus and Kareem as the four of them play together in the park. This incident showcases how the girls’ relationship with the boys is deepening, moving from casual teasing into an actual friendship. It also shows The Role of Community in Fostering Belonging and Support, and particularly in enabling the children to feel strong and confident in the face of discrimination.

“‘It’s a way to get people to come,’ said Sunday. ‘I bet Auntie Sunflower will agree with me. People will definitely come if they’re a part of it, and that’s the whole point, right?’”

Sunday spontaneously comes up with an idea for a community talent show and invites Ms. Tyler to perform at it. She realizes that an important aspect of building community is fostering a sense of belonging; this happens through including people and having them participate in shared activities. This is the same thing that helps the girls bond over as well.

“‘Can we talk more about this?' she asked Bo. Bo shook her head. ‘I wouldn’t get a word in edgewise. Talking to you is pretty one-sided.’ That came out meaner than she’d meant, but the elevator doors closed before she could apologize.”

After encountering Gloss and their superior performance, Bo feels dejected and overwhelmed at the scale of the task the sisters have undertaken for the block party. She snaps at Sunday when Sunday tries to cheer her up, and part of her agitation stems from the already simmering frustration at the number of things she has been keeping bottled up for so long.

“The children spent a quiet hour laughing and building with Gear Its and dominoes; Dougie and Sunday enjoyed each other, and to Bo’s surprise, she didn’t mind. This was different, but it was mixed in something warm and familiar.”

When Bo returns to her old apartment, she discovers that Dougie has already made a new friend. Sunday arrives shortly after, and the three of them spend time together. To Bo’s surprise, she discovers that she enjoys this interaction. She learns that change does not mean having to entirely let go of the past and that resisting the change will not keep the past frozen, either. It is possible to bring together elements of both in a way that is still special and joyful.

“‘I love living with you all, and freeschooling, and everything…and Bill—I mean Pop—he’s great, and you are such a great sister. It’s just…a lot of new for me. I’ve been feeling a little…overwhelmed.’ ‘You always seem so cool, calm, and collected!’ said Sunday. […] ‘I really wanted to seem that way,’ said Bo. ‘But it’s a lot of work. I think sometimes I need to just take a breath.’”

Bo and Sunday finally talk about how they have each been feeling, and Bo admits both how overwhelmed she has been feeling and how hard she has been trying to present a perfect front. This admission is one of the first steps Bo takes in authentically connecting with her sister, and it is the beginning of her finally finding her place and feeling comfortable within the family.

“With a start, Bo realized that she had been waiting for this for so long that she didn’t know what to feel. Still, she was pretty sure that it wasn’t exactly going to be a reward for running off to Dougie’s. More like an opportunity for a Very Serious Conversation.”

Once Bo returns from Dougie’s, Lola confronts her about her escapade and asks Bo to bake with her as they talk. This passage indicates how much Bo has been missing quality time with Lola, and how integral baking is to their connection. It also shows that Lola is a reasonable and understanding mother: Rather than punish her child for doing something dangerous, she looks beyond the behavior and attempts to understand what Bo is feeling that prompted it in the first place.

“Sunday came up next to her. ‘Okay for me to join you?’ she asked. And because Bo knew that she could say it wasn’t, it was.”

Sunday and Bo spend time together at the block party. Sunday’s seemingly simple request is a monumental one in their relationship. Previously oblivious to Bo’s need for personal space, Sunday has now heard her sister out and is determined to do better by checking in with her about her needs. For Bo, who genuinely does enjoy spending time with her sisters as well, this is all the boundaries she needs: The ability to say no and have that no respected. Thus, she already feels better and more welcoming towards Sunday.