Player Piano

Private Elmo Hacketts, an infantryman in the army, stands face-to-face with the Shah of Bratpuhr. They are performing their ceremonial marching for the Shah. Hacketts dreams of leaving the army in twenty-three years and getting his pension:“He had only twenty-three years if some sonofabitching colonel or lieutenant or general came up to him and said, ‘Salute me,’…he’d say, ‘Kiss my ass, sonny…’” (65).

The Shah still calls the army Takaru, or slaves. Hackett, while performing his marches, dreams of living in another country and getting some “laying and glory” (67). The Shah remains convinced that the army is Takaru. He waves goodbye as they depart. 

Paul goes out to his car only to find that it is out of gas. He suspects Finnerty took it for a joyride. While he siphons gas into the car, he watches Finnerty in the upstairs bathroom window, smoking and popping a pimple.

Paul’s car cannot make it up a hill, and some from the Reconstruction and Reclamation Corps go over to help out. One man realizes that one of his gaskets is bad, and swiftly begins to help Paul: “He took a penknife from his pocket, laid the cap of the fuel pump over the sweatband, and cut out a leather disk just the right size” (71). The man gives Paul his card for work. Paul pays the man five dollars, which is the “first money [he’s] earned in five years” (71).

At Paul’s office, Bud Calhoun tells Paul and his secretary, Katherine, that he was fired because he invented a machine that could do his job. He’s looking for work, but his employment card doesn’t show any matching openings. Paul doubts the validity of the card and realizes that the machines dictate whether someone is hired or not.

Finnerty arrives at the plant. The guard calls up to Katherine, who asks Paul about whether or not she should let him in. Paul says to let him in unescorted, even though that’s against policy. Bud realizes that a machine could do Katherine’s job, and Katherine is offended.

Shepherd calls Paul, asking why Finnerty is being allowed to roam unescorted. Shepherd is sure to make sure that the orders are from Paul; “In other words,” Shepherd says, “you order me to let Finnerty go through unescorted” (79). Paul says yes. Shepard gives Berringer the phone, too, so he has a witness to the transgression. 

Finnerty comes to Paul’s office and takes Paul out for a drink. Finnerty refuses to go the club, and instead they go into Homestead. Finnerty reveals that he was the one who stole Paul’s gun. “Had an idea I might want to shoot myself,” he tells Paul (83).

They arrive at the same saloon Paul went to the night before. It’s just about deserted. They hear music in the distance. The man with the son who needed a job is in the bar and recognizes Paul from the night before, much to Paul’s chagrin.

Paul and Finnerty take a booth. Finnerty brings them back strong drinks. They notice a parade going by. The man tells them the parade people are “Secret” (87). They watch the elaborate Arab costuming and songs of the performers. The main performer is Luke Lubbock.

After the parade goes by, the man joins Paul and Finnerty. He lies to Paul and says that his son killed himself. After revealing that he made it all up, he says that he wanted to test the high IQs of the engineers. They discuss philosophically the direction the country went in after the war, the loss of satisfaction in one’s job that preceded it, and the possibility of oncoming revolution by the now-unemployed working class. Finnerty is fascinated with the man whose name is Reverend Lasher, a learned man who became a reverend. Shepherd spots Paul in the bar as he drives by.

Lubbock comes into the bar and changes his outfit to join in with the Parmesans in another parade: “A whistle blew, and the Parmesans fell in behind him, to be led to glorious exploits in a dreamworld those on the sidewalk could only speculate about” (95).

Lasher leaves. A man named Alfy bets Paul that he can name the song they are playing on the TV without hearing it. Alfy beats Paul twice. Paul is impressed. Alfy explains that this is how he earns money. Paul realizes that he never told Anita that he would be out late. He calls her. She tells him that Shepherd is there with her, and that she convinced him to not say anything bad.

When Paul returns to the booth, “two young women were sitting with Finnerty, and Paul loved them instantly” (102). Paul thinks about how much he loves the people in Homestead. When the two girls find out that Paul and Finnerty are engineers, they grow distrustful and finally leave them. Before they leave, Finnerty plays a dark song on the player piano and tells Paul that he will be staying with Lasher. Paul leaves the bar.

Paul wakes up late in the afternoon and goes into the office. Doctor Shepherd sits at Paul’s desk and seems to be signing papers for Paul and answering his calls. He barely notices Paul when he comes in.

Shepherd relays the messages to Paul that Kroner wants him for dinner that night, and that the police found his gun in the river and want to question him. Paul calls Kroner, who invites Paul for dinner with Anita. Shepherd asks Paul what Kroner has said, and Paul snaps at him, ordering him out of his office.

Paul returns to the elegant home designed by Anita. It was a lot of work for Anita, but “now it was done and admired, and the verdict of the community was: Anita was artistic” (110). Amidst the antique quality of the decoration, however, are the latest electronics, including an automatic washer and a TV set. Anita watches a TV program. Paul interrupts her.

Anita already knows about Kroner because Shepherd told her. She’s prepared a list for Paul to study, “some sort of outline, with major divisions set off by Roman numerals…” (113). It was a list of what to do and not to do at Kroner’s in order to secure the Pittsburgh job.

Paul wonders if he has enough money to just give up all these career moves and “live in a house by the side of the road” (115).

Vonnegut writes, “The Shah of Bratpuhr, looking as tiny and elegant as a snuffbox in one end of the vast cavern, handed the Sumklish bottle back to Khashdrahr Miasma” (115). The Shah is being taken on a tour of the underground computing system installed in the Carlsbad Caverns by Doctor Halyard. The computer, EPICAC XIV, is the most powerful computer in the world, and can process even the minutest decisions with accuracy and ease.

The Shah remains skeptical and wonders why human brainpower is no longer usable. Halyard explains that humans can’t be trusted to do the right thing due to too many emotions muddying their decisions.

The latest system is being unveiled with a ceremony by the President of the United States, Jonathan Lynn, with “his white teeth and frank gray eyes [and] curly hair” (119). Halyard envies the ease of Lynn’s position, and how it doesn’t take brains to do what he does. The Shah is curious to find out that Lynn is not the spiritual leader, and that there’s a separation of church and state.

The President invites the Shah on stage, and the Shah gets on his knees and begins to speak to the computer system. He says a series of things, and then looks despondent. Khashdrahr explains that the Shah told the machine an ancient riddle that “a great, all-wise god” will be able to answer the day he arrives (122). EPICAC could not answer it.