The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World

A practice common among Tibetan monks and other spiritual leaders like Archbishop Desmond Tutu involves starting each day with a conscious setting of intentions, establishing goals for how one wants to approach the day. This practice prepares the mind and heart, aligning actions with deeper values and aspirations.

Monks often revisit their intentions throughout the day, especially before meditation or significant tasks. Similarly, the Archbishop engages in daily Eucharistic celebrations and reads Biblical passages and works of great mystics. These activities serve to guide his heart and mind, reinforcing his spiritual focus.

The practice of setting intentions can be done comfortably seated, with feet on the ground or cross-legged, or even while still in bed after waking. It begins with closing the eyes and taking deep, diaphragmatic breaths to center oneself. The key step is to ask oneself: “What is my heart’s desire? What do I wish for myself, for my loved ones, and for the world?” (311). This reflection helps in identifying deep-seated desires that transcend temporary wants, focusing on human values and one’s place within the broader fabric of life.

The Dalai Lama suggests a simple litmus test to assess intentions: considering whether the intention is solely for personal benefit or for others, for a select few or the many, and whether it serves immediate needs or looks towards the future. This helps in aligning intentions with broader, more altruistic goals.

After reflecting, one states their intention for the day, which can be specific or general. Examples include intentions to greet everyone with love, to be less judgmental, or to be patient and loving with family. For those unsure of their intention, a traditional Tibetan prayer, adapted into four lines, can be used: ”May all beings attain happiness. May all beings be free from suffering. May all beings never be separated from joy. May all beings abide in equanimity” (312). This prayer is meant to encapsulate a compassionate and inclusive approach, guiding individuals towards intentions that promote happiness and wellbeing for all.

This chapter outlines spiritual practices aimed at enhancing mental well-being and cultivating joy. These practices, used by both the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu, are meant to address common emotional challenges and encourage a more mindful, compassionate approach to life.

1. Focus and Stress Relief - A Breathing Practice: This practice of focused breathing helps in calming the mind and is a fundamental exercise in many spiritual traditions. The process includes focusing on each inhalation and exhalation, and gently returning attention to the breath when the mind wanders. It can be practiced for five to ten minutes, gradually increasing the duration over time.
2. Morning Meditation Walk or Exercise: The Archbishop’s practice of taking a silent morning walk or engaging in exercise without external distractions is highlighted. This practice is about connecting with the wisdom of the spirit through the body, promoting a meditative state of mind.
3. Fear, Anger, and Sadness––An Analytic Meditation: This type of meditation involves analyzing thoughts and emotions to understand their impermanence and reduce their intensity. The Dalai Lama explains, “In analytical meditation, we contemplate on impermanence and on the transient nature of our existence” (316). This practice helps to develop mental immunity and reduce the negative impact of these emotions.
4. Frustration and Anger––A Prayer: The Archbishop’s practice of praying for those who cause frustration and anger is discussed. This involves praying for their well-being and happiness, helping to transform feelings of anger into love and understanding.
5. Loneliness––A Common Humanity Practice: This practice involves recognizing our shared humanity and connecting with others on a fundamental level. It helps to reduce feelings of loneliness and isolation.
6. Envy––A Mudita Practice: This Buddhist practice involves rejoicing in the good fortune of others. By recognizing shared humanity and feeling joy for others’ successes, one can overcome feelings of envy.
7. Suffering, Adversity, and Illness––A Lojong Practice: This Tibetan mind training involves using personal suffering as an opportunity for growth and empathy. It’s about transforming adversity into a chance to develop compassion.
8. Suffering, Adversity, and Illness of Others––A Tonglen Practice: This practice involves taking in the suffering of others and offering back love and joy. It’s a way of connecting with others in their suffering and transforming it through compassion.
9. Silent Retreat: Both leaders practice silent retreats for intensive prayer, reflection, self-examination, and rest. These retreats provide an undisturbed time for spiritual deepening.
10. Death Meditation: Contemplating one’s mortality, this meditation encourages living life with purpose and without regrets. It involves visualizing one’s death and funeral, asking reflective questions about the impact and meaning of one’s life.

Each practice addresses different aspects of emotional and spiritual life, offering tools for dealing with common challenges and cultivating a deeper sense of joy and purpose.

Various practices to develop key aspects of joy in life are discussed. These practices are associated with the eight pillars identified by the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu.

1. Perspective––A Self-Distancing Practice: This practice involves stepping back from a situation to gain a broader view. By describing one’s problem as if it were happening to someone else and imagining it from a future perspective, individuals can see beyond immediate self-interest. The Archbishop says this allows us to see what serves “all of God’s children” (329).
2. Humility––A Lojong Practice: This practice encourages reflecting on the interconnectedness of life and recognizing our dependence on others. By considering everyone who contributes to our lives, we cultivate humility, which helps avoid isolation and judgment.
3. Laughing at Ourselves to Develop Humor: The practice of laughing at one’s own limitations and foibles helps cultivate humor. This self-deprecating humor makes us more relatable to others and helps dissolve conflicts.
4. Acceptance––A Meditation: Acceptance is crucial for experiencing joy, as it is the starting point for change. This meditation practice involves acknowledging reality without judgment and releasing expectations for life to be different.
5. The Fourfold Path of Forgiveness: This path includes telling one’s story, naming the hurt, granting forgiveness, and deciding whether to renew or release the relationship. It’s a process for working through significant pain and trauma.
6. Journaling for Gratitude: Daily journaling of things one is grateful for helps savor life and recognize the contributions of others. This practice fosters a positive outlook.
7. Compassion Meditation: This involves thinking of others with love and compassion, wishing them happiness freedom from suffering. It helps expand our circle of concern beyond ourselves.
8. Compassion––A Prayer: Regular prayer for others in need fosters compassion and redirects focus from self-preoccupations to broader human concerns.
9. Compassion––A Fast: Fasting can be a practice of compassion, helping to experience hunger that others endure involuntarily and to develop empathy.
10. Generosity Practices: These include material giving, offering protection or solace, and spiritual giving. Regular practices of thinking about and acting on others’ needs nurture a generous spirit.
11. Joy Meditation––The Eight Pillars: This meditation reviews the eight pillars in the context of a specific problem or challenge, incorporating perspective, humility, humor, acceptance, forgiveness, gratitude, compassion, and generosity to transform one’s approach to life’s difficulties.

Each practice is aimed at fostering qualities that contribute to a joyful and fulfilling life, emphasizing the interconnectedness of all beings and the importance of compassion, humility, and perspective.

This chapter discusses the importance of reflecting on one’s day as a part of spiritual practice, a common element in both Buddhist and Christian traditions. The practice, known as the Daily Examen in St. Ignatius Loyola’s tradition and Making a Dedication in Buddhism, focuses on reviewing the day’s events, aligning with one’s intentions, acknowledging emotions, expressing gratitude, and looking forward to the next day.

The practice begins with reflecting on the day before bedtime. This involves considering the key experiences, conversations, emotions, and thoughts of the day. The emphasis is not on judging actions but on acknowledging the day’s major aspects and assessing alignment with the morning’s set intentions.

Emotional reflection is an important part of this process. If negative thoughts or feelings emerge, the practice suggests simply being present with them without trying to push them away or cling to positive ones. It encourages acceptance of oneself as imperfect, using phrases like, “I accept myself as I am, flawed and human like everyone else” (346). This acceptance includes recognizing areas where one may have fallen short of intentions, understanding this as an opportunity for growth and learning.

Gratitude plays a vital role in this practice. It involves being thankful for all experiences, including challenging ones, as they contribute to personal growth. It can be helpful to record these thoughts in a gratitude journal.

The day’s reflection concludes by dedicating the day’s merits as a blessing to all and looking forward to the next day. This includes setting intentions for facing upcoming challenges and trusting in one’s ability to handle whatever the next day brings. The practice suggests releasing concerns for the night to ensure a peaceful sleep.

While many practices for cultivating joy can be performed in solitude, the book contends that the deepest and most fulfilling joy often arises from our interactions and connections with others. The Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu argue that joy is rooted in relationships with other people. They are both part of spiritual communities, illustrating how such connections contribute to a sense of joy and fulfillment.

The book encourages seeking out or creating communities of love and practice. This could involve participating in existing religious communities or forming new ones, even if it’s just with one friend, a relative, or a group engaged in reading and reflecting on meaningful texts Inviting others to participate in practices aimed at cultivating joy can enhance the experience.

A key message is that relationships are the true test of spirituality. Joy is not merely a concept to learn or understand intellectually; it is an experience to live out and embody in daily life. The greatest joy, as per the teachings of the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Tutu, is found in deep, loving, and generous relationships with others.