The Elephant In The Room

The beginning of The Elephant in the Room shows characters feeling lonely or isolated, introducing the theme of Overcoming Isolation Through Family and Community Bonds. Sila feels sad because her mom has to return to Turkey, and her sadness over this causes her to stay away from her friends. Gio, who won the lottery, feels alone because he lost touch with his friends, and his wife passed away. Mateo, who has autism, feels left out because people do not understand him. Other students’ lack of understanding and empathy for Mateo emphasizes The Role of Empathy in Cultivating Relationships, suggesting that Mateo’s isolation is made deeper by the fact that he is misunderstood.

Sila faces significant challenges when her mom has to return to Turkey. Sloan symbolizes Sila's struggle with Sila's favorite shirt. Sila used to think the shirt, which is "red with white stripes and blue stitching” (1), brought her luck. However, everything changes when she wears it on the day she learns her mom has to leave. From then on, Sila sees the shirt as a symbol of bad luck and refuses to wear it: "The shirt had turned into a symbol for all the bad luck in the universe. Sila wanted to rip it apart and throw it away, but instead, she stuffed the shirt into a plastic bag which she jammed under the kitchen sink" (7). Sila is usually quiet and gentle, so dealing with the anger and helplessness she feels when her mom is away is hard for her. Instead of talking about her feelings, she keeps them inside, like how she hides her shirt. But by hiding her emotions, Sila starts to lose touch with her friends and the things she used to enjoy: “Sila lost track of many of the things that she used to find fun, and clung to a very specific routine. She told no one about her situation. It wasn’t anyone’s business" (7). Sila’s choice not to confide in her friends and teachers only increases her isolation; her need to reach out to others will be a crucial element of her character arc.

Even though her friends and teachers notice something is wrong, they do not know how to talk to Sila about it. For example, when Mrs. Holsing asks Sila to join the pairing program, she lacks understanding and empathy. Mrs. Holsing asks Sila if something is wrong at home but does not press when Sila refuses to talk about it. The interaction makes Sila feel "threatened, intimidated, and fearful" (55), and Mrs. Holsing does nothing to make Sila more comfortable. Even Mrs. Holsing's reasoning for including Sila shows a lack of understanding. She believes that Sila and Mateo have much in common as they are both bilingual. However, Sila speaks Turkish, and Mateo speaks Spanish. While the administration pairs Sila and Mateo with the best intentions, their lack of understanding furthers Sila's isolation from others.

Mateo’s isolation results from his autism and others’ inability to accept him. Mrs. Holsing tells Sila, “There are people who would rather not interact much with others. These people have trouble expressing their feelings and that makes it harder for them to join groups or form bonds with others” (57). Sila remembers Mateo as “different from the start” (61). Mateo is “the quietest kid in the whole school” (61), but “there had been a time back when they were both younger when all he did was talk” (61). Sila remembers the third-grade teacher talking to the class about Mateo’s “hidden challenge,” referring to his autism: “After that day, Sila realized, the other kids didn’t accept Mateo for being different as much as ignore him. She was guilty of that as well” (62). The sudden shift in Mateo’s behavior and Sila’s realization about her classmates ignoring him complicates Mrs. Holsing’s description of Mateo’s unwillingness to interact with others; in fact, Sila’s memory of Mateo suggests that he actually has a lot to say, but his community does not seek to include him. However, Sila starts to notice Mateo and take an interest in him by the end of this section, which could help them both feel less isolated.

Gio, on the other hand, finds himself isolated because of his circumstances. When he worked as a carpenter, he had many friends at work, and they did fun things together, like bowling and having a book club. However, Gio’s wife died, and after winning the lottery, he lost touch with his friends. Now, Gio feels alone and sad, “in a hole that can appear when a person doesn’t feel they’re needed” (34). Like Sila notices Mateo, Gio notices Sila and sees the sadness in her eyes. He feels connected to her because he sees something of himself in her. Gio recognizes that Sila needs help and wants to strengthen their bond, which helps them feel less lonely.