The Rachel Incident

Finally, Deenie leaves the party abruptly and heads upstairs. Rachel follows and asks her what is wrong. Deenie is furious and accuses her of sleeping with Byrne. Rachel tries to deny it, but Deenie says that she has seen the grocery receipts and that Rachel lives at the same address. Byrne comes in the room and Deenie adds that he has confessed, so Rachel might as well give up the lie.

Rachel is horrified at the accusation and angry that Byrne would rather lie about sleeping with her than admit to being bisexual. However, she feels that she cannot betray him. After several minutes of being berated by Deenie, Byrne silently looking on, Rachel finally announces that she is pregnant. She tells them she needs £2,000 for the abortion and that she will never contact them again. Deenie makes her show her the health clinic email as proof and then finally agrees.

Rachel leaves, guilty about what she just did but also feeling like she has no other options.

Rachel returns home and is so focused on what happened to her that she forgets about James’s feelings. She tells him the story and is upset to realize that she effectively broke up with Byrne on his behalf. James grabs his phone and tries to call Byrne, but Rachel takes it from him. She thinks:

I imagined a world where I had to go through everything I had just gone through, but I still had to deplete my savings to pay for my abortion. Not just deplete my savings, but tell my parents, and ask them for money that they didn’t have for a procedure they were morally against (213).

Horrified by this idea, she throws James’s phone in the toilet. He tells her he is going to leave or he might hit her, and he does not come home that night.

In the morning, he returns, and they tentatively make amends. He tells Rachel he thinks he is someone who will never have real love in his life. She realizes that he is deeply insecure about being lovable and tries to comfort him, telling him: “I think you just want this big, huge exceptional life, and you’re probably going to have a huge big exceptional love that goes with it” (216). He does not seem convinced.

The next few days are bleak, with James and Rachel each coping with their own private tragedy. She avoids Carey’s calls and texts and almost loses her job for being so listless. Then she begins to miscarry. She is consumed by guilt and thinks that the miscarriage might be a punishment for taking money from Deenie and lying to her. Later, James tells her that she seemed to be sleepwalking through life.

Her mother calls and insists that she go to graduation. She bullies the university into letting Rachel attend, even though she had not signed up in time and does not have her regalia. The ceremony is horrible and awkward since the faculty seem to all know about her supposed affair with Dr. Byrne.

Rachel and her parents head to a restaurant to celebrate her graduation. James texts her that he cannot come but says he has sent a replacement, Carey. Her parents are charmed by him, and they have a lively conversation over lunch. Afterward, her father hands them some money and tells them to have a few more drinks.

At the pub, Rachel confesses her pregnancy and miscarriage. Carey is upset that she would keep this from him, and her attempt to explain why only makes things worse. He tells her that loving someone means that you love them no matter what and that she seems to not understand that. They go back to Shandon Street and have sex, but it is awkward. He leaves the next morning and does not come back.

Now fired from the call center job, Rachel gets work at a bar. She and James still live together, but there is a rift between them. Rachel makes some attempts to socialize with other friends from school but finds that people in Cork often seem to know the rumors about her. She is desperate to get away and make a fresh start.

In December 2021, Rachel searches online to find information about the Harrington-Byrnes. She sees that Deenie has dropped her maiden name and now goes by Deenie Byrne. Rachel reflects on her own marriage and admits that, despite being someone who loves being married and thrives on routine, she has no idea how Deenie and Fred Byrne stayed married after everything that happened.