This Is Where I Leave You

Tracy is on the roof when Judd goes up at sunrise. Tracy guesses that Phillip slept with Chelsea. Tracy plans to leave after shiva but will give Phillip the Porsche. As parting advice, Tracy tells Judd he got married right out of college and is terrified of being alone, and he must stop acting out of that fear. “You have to stop worrying about finding love again,” she says. “It will come when it comes” (293).

Judd sees the girl from the bar leave the Callens’ house. He goes over to find Horry having a seizure and sits with him.

After his shower, Judd finds Alice sitting on the sofa bed in his room. She confesses she is jealous of Wendy and Jen. Judd reminds her that she has a good marriage, which is harder than having a baby, and she shouldn’t risk it.

Shiva is a silent business. Judd thinks, “We have pretty much had it with each other. We are injured and angry, scared and sad” (298). A group of young mothers comes to get Hillary’s advice. Judd examines their figures. Linda enters, and Hillary embraces and kisses her romantically. Peter Applebaum departs, telling Judd not to get old.

Judd remembers a time he was six and walked in on his parents having sex. His mother was not embarrassed; she and his father enjoyed an active sex life.

After the shiva callers have been ushered out of the house, the family reacts to Hillary and Linda’s apparent relationship. Paul is shocked that his mother is bisexual. Horry admits he’s known for a while.

Judd drives to his old house and finds Jen distraught. He runs her a bath, and they talk. Judd reflects that he will always be drawn to women like Jen, and Jen will be drawn to men like Wade, just as Phillip will always be drawn to girls like Chelsea. They lie down in bed. Jen tells Judd the baby is a girl, and he weeps. When Judd wakes, Jen is sleeping. He thinks, “I’ll have to keep forgiving her until it takes” (312). He leaves, running.

Judd returns to Knob’s End to find Phillip threatening to jump off the roof to keep Tracy from leaving. Hillary hugs Tracy goodbye. Phillip falls off the roof but is not hurt.

Inside, they discuss how Hillary’s relationship with Linda developed while Mort was sick, and with his blessing, as it gave him comfort that Hillary wouldn’t be alone after he was gone. Judd guesses that it was his mother who wanted them to sit shiva, and she admits it.

Judd speaks with Wendy about her marriage. She says she will stay with Barry as she doesn’t expect to find better. Judd reflects that “it’s heartbreaking to see your siblings as the people they’ve become” (321). Phillip has found Judd’s duffel bag of money and asks to borrow $1,000. He says he’s been sponging off Tracy and needs a fresh start.

Judd visits Penny to apologize for leaving her at the amusement park when Jen called about the baby. Penny calls him out, saying that he’s actually sorry for not telling her that Jen is pregnant or that he still loves her. He agrees, saying he’s more than sorry, but ashamed. Penny forgives him, and Judd leaves. Moments later she runs outside and jumps into his arms, reminding him of their pact and that they have five years to find a better option. Judd kisses her.

Boner comes to officially end shiva. He reminds the Foxmans that the hardest part of grieving is going back to their regular lives. Of his family, Judd thinks, “We love each other but can’t handle being around each other for very long” (332). They walk around the block as a family, and Judd asks Paul to consider giving Phillip a job in the store. Paul reminds Judd not to let anger poison him. Wendy leaves. Her hired car pauses for a moment outside Horry’s house, and Horry holds his hand up to the window to say goodbye.

Judd goes through his father’s top drawer of mementos. He finds his father’s Tag Heuer watch, which is broken, but Judd will get it fixed. The back of the watch is engraved with a message from his mother to his father: “You found me” (338). The rest of the family is eating at the table, but Judd chooses only to say goodbye to Linda. He has $14,000—Phillip took $2,000—so he borrows Phillip’s Porsche. He doesn’t know for certain where he’s going—Maine, for the night—but for the moment, Judd thinks, “[I]t feels pretty good to be me” (339).