Unfriended

Fiction | Novel | Middle Grade | Published in 2014

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Summary

Background

Chapter Summaries & Analyses

Chapters 1-10

Chapters 11-22

Chapters 23-34

Chapters 35-45

Chapters 46-57

Character Analysis

Themes

Symbols & Motifs

Important Quotes

Essay Topics

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Themes

Demystifying Popularity

Content Warning: This section of the guide describes bullying, anti-fat bias, suicide, and stigmatizing language about mental health.

The book demystifies the popular group at Truly’s school because it undercuts the notion that popular kids tend to be mean and exclusionary. Brooke is the most popular girl in the eighth grade and entire school, and Natasha refers to her as the “Queen of Nice.” Brooke isn’t a manipulative, snobbish “Queen Bee” but an accessible, warm leader. She’s fine with Truly sitting at the popular table, and she agrees to go to Hazel’s house even though she hardly knows Hazel. Brooke’s mother says, “You don’t have to be friends with everybody, you just can’t be unkind to anybody” (86). Brooke puts her mother’s words into practice, and most of the popular kids follow her lead. Lulu and Evangeline reproach Natasha when she’s mean to Truly, and Jack is “always on the lookout for somebody being left out” (231). Truly belongs with the popular crowd not because she’s particularly cool but due to her innate decency. As her name suggests, Truly is an earnest person, and in Vail’s unvarnished presentation of popularity, what counts is kindness.

Conversely, Vail perpetuates the mystique of the popular group by linking it to famous political individuals like Benedict Arnold and Harry Truman. The connection perpetuates a grandiose presentation of the popular kids, suggesting they’re not human 13-year-olds but historical figures. Truly explicitly links her experience to Arnold’s, stating, “Basically, he wanted to be popular. That’s all. We didn’t invent wanting to be popular, turns out” (420). The comparison distorts the importance of Truly and her group, and it obscures the consequences of Arnold’s actions. Arnold was involved in a deadly war, so his actions had life-or-death consequences. The girls in the popular crowd don’t face the same type of precarity. Their feelings are valid, and their issues are not trivial, but they’re not soldiers fighting for their lives.

Though Vail demystifies the popular crowd, the outcome is the same as in other books, TV shows, and movies about popular groups. The girls still create conflict and drama. After Hazel forwards Natasha’s email to Brooke, Brooke unceremoniously dismisses Natasha, telling her, “Maybe find somewhere else to sit” (162). The snappy banishment subverts the upfront and friendly presentation of the popular crowd. If Natasha was truly friendly with the girls in the popular crowd, they wouldn’t split up over an email. They’d speak to her about why her email was noxious and try to help her improve her behavior. With Natasha’s exile, Brooke ignores her mother’s advice. She’s “unkind” to Natasha. Arguably, considerate people should be nice to everyone, even people like Natasha, who are often unkind.

The Fluidity of Relationships

The narrative moves forward due to the flexibility of friendships. Truly goes from being best friends with Natasha to being best friends with Hazel. Once Natasha reaches out to Truly again, Truly becomes friends with Natasha and the popular group. The change enrages Hazel, and she turns Natasha and Truly into targets. Natasha, too, is subject to the malleability of social connections. She goes from Truly’s best friend to popular to being kicked out of the popular crowd. Similar to Hazel, the change in Natasha’s social position upsets her, and Natasha aims her rancor at Truly.

Departing from Natasha and Hazel, Brooke has a holistic attitude toward the pliability of relationships. When Truly joins the table, Brooke thinks, “The more the merrier” (29). Brooke welcomes diverse relationships, and she doesn’t assume their permanence. She banishes Natasha and agrees to go over to Hazel’s house even though she barely knows Hazel.

The fluid inclusivity subverts the exclusive qualities often attributed to popular groups. The popular kids aren’t untouchable and permanently popular. They must regularly earn the right to sit at the popular table, which requires acting nicely. If a person slips up, like Natasha, they’ll experience the mutability of relationships and find themselves elsewhere. Marlicia tells Natasha, “There’s an amazing world out there, Tash, and you guys are all hunkered down, squabbling about your little nothing troubles” (309). Natasha “hunkered down.” She considers herself indispensable, and her miscalculation creates significant conflict.

Fragility isn’t a flaw in the novel’s friendships; rather, it indicates that friendships require constant attention and care—people shouldn’t take their friends for granted. After Truly leaves with Natasha, Truly thinks, “I knew I could count on Hazel […] We’re solid, me and Hazel” (19-20). Hazel’s reliability isn’t unconditional. She and Truly are “solid” only if Truly continues to treat her considerately. By sitting with Natasha and the popular crowd, Hazel feels cast aside. She writes, “I might as well have fallen through a trapdoor. Or never existed at all” (22). What restores their friendship is the presence of concern. After Hazel sees Truly cut school, she grows worried, and they start communicating compassionately again. Hazel and Truly’s friendships demonstrate how people can go from best friends to antagonists to best friends again. Best friends can also stop being best friends permanently. Natasha and Truly aren’t on the path to becoming close friends again. However, by the end, their relationship shifts away from hostility, with Natasha open to the idea of trying to be less mad at Truly.

The Harmful Impact of Digital Communication

The conflict in the story depends on the harms of digital communication. Typically, people speak about the adverse impact of social media specifically, but in Unfriended, the characters don’t just use social media to hurt one another. They also use less public digital technologies such as email. The catalyst for the conflict isn’t a social media post but a condescending email that Natasha sends Truly about her siblings. Hazel logs into Truly’s email account, spots the email, and realizes it could sow discord, so she sends it to Brooke. By making an email the source of the conflict, the novel shows how even supposedly private digital communications can turn into a menace. If Natasha had expressed her unkind thoughts in a paper note, and given the paper note to Truly, Hazel would’ve had to put remarkable effort into capturing the physical note and then putting it in front of Brooke. As with friendships, digital communication is vulnerable. It allows the characters to easily express themselves and communicate with each other, but what they express and communicate can turn toxic, which is what happens to Truly due to Hazel and Natasha.

Social media plays a large presence in the lives of many young people, and there’s lots of discourse about how social media influences young people. In “How Social Media Affects Your Teen’s Mental Health: A Parent’s Guide,” contemporary health writer Kathy Katella cites a study that says young people ages 12-15 face increased mental health risks when they use social media for more than three hours each day (Katella, Kathy. “How Social Media Affects Your Teen’s Mental Health: A Parent’s Guide.” Yale Medicine, 17 Jun. 2024). Truly experiences the negative effects of excessive social media use. After Natasha posts the sexy photos, Truly tries to pull herself away from her screens. She tells herself, “Don’t check the phone […] Don’t check the computer again […] Don’t check it” (329). Truly doesn’t listen to herself. She looks at the screens, perpetuating her distraught condition. Eventually, Truly throws her phone into Big Pond, which coincides with the return of Hazel and a semblance of tranquility. Yet Hazel doesn’t exclusively blame social media, stating, “My grandmother is a bully about how my mother dresses. My mom is a bully about how my father chews. My dad is impossible about my hair. We didn’t invent it. Is my point” (343). The girls add to the discourse about social media, arguing that social media didn’t invent bullies. Bullies predate social media. Social media, however, gives bullies another tool to use.