Will

“My father tormented me. And he was also one of the greatest men I’ve ever known. My father was violent, but he was also at every game, play, and recital. He was an alcoholic, but he was sober at every premiere of every one of my movies. He listened to every record. He visited every studio.”

These words demonstrate Smith’s ability to see his father as a complete human being. Despite the great harm Daddio does to the family, Smith still sees good in him. Despite the good in him, Smith still sees the destruction Daddio has brought to those he loves. By refusing to pigeonhole Daddio, Smith demonstrates that he is capable of seeing the totality of a person.

“The bigger the fantasy you live, the more painful the inevitable collision with reality. If you cultivate the fantasy that your marriage will be forever joyful and effortless, then reality is going to pay you back in equal proportion to your delusion. If you live the fantasy that making money will earn you love, then the universe will slap you awake, in the tune of a thousand angry voices.”

Smith spends much of his life trying to reconcile his fantasies with reality. He has to learn that the methods he has used to garner success professionally hurt his personal life. Early on in his Hollywood career, he also has to learn that the methods he used to stay safe on the streets are detrimental in dealing with studio executives.

“One day, I would be in charge, and everything was going to be perfect. We are going to have a big house on a huge property and everybody’s going to live together, and I’ll take care of everybody.”

These words demonstrate Smith’s primary goal in life. He wants success, but a big part of the reason he wants success is to be able to take care of those around him. When he achieves these outward markers of success and stability, he will still have to learn that they are not sufficient to ensure the happiness of those he loves.

“And then I asked myself, If I have this much power, shouldn’t I use it for good? Words can affect how people view themselves, how they treat each other, how they navigate the world. Words can build people up, or they can tear them down. I decided that night that I wanted to use my words to empower others, to help rather than hurt.”

Will struggles in the world of hip-hop because his middle-class upbringing combined with his refusal to include profanity and vulgarities in his music makes people see him as soft. He learns the importance of words primarily from his grandmother, but he will continue to learn about the importance of stories throughout his life and career. The importance of words and stories is a primary theme in the memoir.

“The phones have been off the hook all day from y’all wanting to hear these guys, so get ready for our hometown boys, Philly’s very own, DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince. This is…‘Girls Ain’t Nothing But.’”

These are the words Smith uses to describe the first time he heard his music on the radio. This marks a turning point in his life because right before hearing these words, he was considering whether he should continue to pursue music.

“Later, my fantasies as a teenager never involved having multiple girlfriends or wild orgies. My fantasies always involved one woman. I wanted to ravish her with my complete, undivided devotion and affection. I wanted to be the best man she’s ever known—I wanted to fulfil all of her dreams, solve all of her problems, take away all of her pain.”

These words describe one of Smith’s primary goals in life. He wants to provide the woman he loves with security. He will struggle to do this throughout his multiple relationships, and he will come to realize that the ways he tries to provide for Jada are insufficient to meet her needs.

“We ultimately ended up boycotting the actual ceremony because NARAS, the Grammy committee, refused to televise the presentation of the rap award. We felt like that was a slap in the face—rap music had outsold the industry that year; we deserved to be there. Russell Simmons and Lyor Cohen organized the boycott for Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince, along with Salt-N-Pepa, Ice-T, Public Enemy, Doug E. Fresh and Slick Rick, Stetsasonic, and many others.”

A significant portion of the beginning of the memoir is devoted to chronicling the early days of hip-hop and Smith’s role in its development. These words describe how Smith and others boycott the Grammy Awards ceremony one year because they do not believe hip-hop is being fairly represented.

“The room froze. Those who knew, knew—the other guests guessed. Daddio calmly took in the scene. His eldest son, topless. Rum punch and jerk chicken stinkin’ up the room. Bahamian bikinis bouncing and misbehaving. And we were ‘at work.’ To Daddio, this was Sodom and Gomorrah.”

Daddio has been called in to get Jazzy Jeff and Smith to start recording instead of wasting time. This story represents the influence Daddio has on Smith as the two begin recording after Daddio confronts them. Daddio has many demons, but Smith still respects him.

“But if you piss away $300,000 on rum punch and chicken fingers, and your father has to fly in and drag your ass home, and then you throw together a bunch of tracks in your best friend’s mother’s basement, you’re manifesting an unfair fight. It’s two against one: it’s you and the universe versus you.”

Growing up in the difficult environment he did, Smith understands the odds that are stacked against people. Because of this, he gets frustrated when people, including himself, add to life’s stresses by making poor decisions. These words represent the degree to which he understands that challenges can come from both the outside and the inside.

“NO PARALYSIS THROUGH ANALYSIS!”

Smith receives this advice when he hesitates to test-read lines for The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air on the spot, without rehearsal.  He finally agrees, and his career moves fast as he decides to sign on with the show. This excites him because he is in a room with people who can make decisions and get things done in the world of television very quickly.

“The great feat of an alchemist is that they can do the impossible. They can turn lead into gold. This concept erupted in my mind—the ability to take anything that life gives you and turn it into gold.”

This passage refers to Smith’s favorite book, The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. These words illustrate one of Smith’s goals. He wants to be able to create something out of nothing, make money to provide for his family, and be a resounding success.

“Friday nights on the set of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air were like being at the hottest club in the city—everybody who was anybody made their way to our tapings. The top comedians on the mic, the most gorgeous Hollywood starlets, professional athletes, musicians—a who’s who of the flyest of the fly.”

These words represent Smith’s characterization of the nights on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. His memoir is part life story and part history of the entertainment industry he plays such a large role in. This passage also reflects the material success Smith achieves that he will eventually recognize as being superficial.

“But when you grow up in violent environments, your mind adapts to perceive threats everywhere. You reason that you cannot afford to get caught slipping, even once. You begin to respond to a perceived threat and to actual violence equally, even though they’re very different things.”

These words represent the degree to which Smith struggles in his new environment in Hollywood. He is used to handling things with violence, and this almost has disastrous consequences when he and his friends almost act violently during a conflict in a television executive’s office.

“‘Y’all gonna be together every fuckin’ Christmas anyway,’ he said. ‘When you have kids with somebody, you’re stuck.’”

Though Smith is splitting up with his first wife, Sheree, he is reminded that they will stay connected via their son for the rest of their lives. The importance of family is demonstrated throughout the memoir. While Smith does not initially take this advice, he eventually comes to recognize its wisdom.

“Anyone who has ever been on a sitcom can tell you the episode in which their show jumped the shark. Ours was season 5, episode 15, ‘Bullets Over Bel-Air,’ the one in which I got shot and Carlton started carrying a gun.”

Here, Smith demonstrates the degree to which he takes ownership over his show and the degree to which he wants to protect both that show and the people who depend upon him. He wants to preserve the show’s legacy, so he decides to bring his television show to a close.

“We’d all worked very hard to cultivate a sense of a singular family. It was rough in the beginning, but Jada and Sheree agreed that Jaden and Trey must think of themselves as full brothers. Jada even refused the term ‘stepmom.’ To this day, Trey refers to her as his bonus mom.”

Jada values family. Instead of feeling threatened by Smith’s other son and his ex-wife, she welcomes them in. This shows how she values, loves, and respects Trey. Jada’s openness also reflects her and Will's shared belief in The Importance of Parental Involvement. They want to make sure Will can be as involved in his son’s life as possible.

“Madiba thought I was special—I didn’t want to prove him wrong.”

Mandiba is Nelson Mandela. They meet while Smith is filming Ali, and Mandela tells Smith that he believes the stories Smith tells as an actor are important to the world. Smith avoids meeting with him after their first encounter because he does not want the man to lose respect for him. This shows how Smith does not believe he deserves that respect.

“Well, I consider myself to be fairly average in talent. Where I believe I excel is in my unflinching, unyielding discipline and work ethic. While the other guy is eating, I’m working. While the other guy is sleeping, I’m working. While the other guy is making love…well…I’m making love, too, but I’m working really hard at it.”

These words harken back to the original story told in the memoir about Smith and his brother building a wall. Smith has learned a solid work ethic from his father, and he puts it into place throughout his life. Ultimately, he must learn that his solid work ethic and financial success alone will not make his family happy.

“Jada’s creative energies were being revived. She was coming up with ideas for TV shows and movies she wanted to write and direct; she was filling journals with poetry and artwork.”

Jada experiences a creative revival. As the memoir details, however, this will come into conflict with The Importance of Parental Involvement when she has to choose whether to be present for them or to pursue her own path.

“It was only after they decided to be in show business that I became an insane, overbearing father.”

These words represent two things. First, they represent the degree to which Smith avoids making his children follow in his footsteps. Second, they demonstrate the degree to which his children are hurt by the ways he seeks to be involved in their careers.

“What she was really asking me was, ‘Don’t you care how I feel?’ It was the deepest, existential human question. It may be the most important question that we as humans ever ask each other. Does it matter to you how I feel?”

Smith’s daughter, Willow, signs on to tour with Justin Bieber, but midway through the tour, she wants to quit. Smith insists that she fulfill her professional commitment. Willow shaves her head to force her father to take her distress seriously. In this passage, Smith learns the importance people place on feelings. He had always relegated feelings to the back burner, not seeing them as important. His family teaches him, however, that when he fails to pay attention to their feelings, he fails them.

“No way, man! I’m telling you: Trinis are cool people. Most laid-back time of your life! They don’t really study people. They’re not even going to care that you’re Will Smith. It’s gonna be fine, trust me.”

These words represent the degree to which Smith’s life is different from other people’s. He was told that in Trinidad, people would leave him alone, but they do not. He is met at the airport as well as elsewhere by many fans. He wanted to become world famous, and when he is, he finds it difficult to ever blend in. This is one instance when Will confronts the fact that Money and Fame Cannot Buy Happiness.

“The Big She will not be conquered or subdued; your only hope to truly enjoy her is to love her, respect her, and surrender.”

Smith’s therapist uses these words as she encourages him to learn how to swim. She wants to teach him to surrender and to listen to those around him.