Woke Up Like This

J. T. is ignoring Char. He doesn’t race her to their lockers, they don’t sign each other’s yearbooks, and he’s even been quiet in class. She tries to figure out why he’s acting like this, and she remembers that adult Renner told her that yesterday was the anniversary of his sister’s death. She googles the girl’s obituary to make sure that this is true; it is. If being 30 and engaged to him were only a dream, she wouldn’t know that, Char reasons.

Kassie tells Char that Ollie is annoying her, not wanting her to go with him to Chicago to look at apartments. Kassie thinks that maybe he wants to live in the dorm and not with her, as they’d planned. Char advises Kassie to tell him that his behavior hurts her feelings and makes her feel left out. Kassie admits that she’s been little help preparing for prom, and she vows to be a better friend. Kassie promises that they’ll be together at the Senior Sleepover tonight, that she’ll bring their favorite snacks, and they can go over a new list of prom dates for Char.

Char reflects on the situation with her dad. Though she’s still mad at him, she now knows how it feels to have lost him forever and doesn’t want to reject his offer to meet. Char’s mom says, again, that these are the best years of Char’s life and tells her to have fun, reminding Char of when 30-year-old J. T. said something similar. Char gets an email letting her know that she has been awarded the scholarship for which she interviewed. She’s shocked since she believed that she bombed the interview. She texts J. T. to tell him about it. He is unsurprised, and they banter a bit. Char even tells him that she’d rethink marrying him in an apocalypse.

Nori gives Char a ride to the Senior Sleepover and asks Char if she should get bangs, prompting Char to recall that adult Nori asked Char to tell her younger self not to get bangs. Char decides to tell Nori about jumping 13 years into the future, contextualizing her belief that Nori should not, in fact, get bangs. Nori believes her and says that J. T. was acting weird last night while they were decorating the gym. When Char tells her how she felt about grown-up J. T., Nori applauds Char’s growth and tells her to talk openly to him.

Char still thinks that the experience was probably her imagination. When Char and Nori put down their sleeping bags, they see that Kassie has chosen a spot with her other group of friends, including Andie. Char isn’t surprised, but she is annoyed. Nori, Ollie, J. T., and Char set up dinner while Kassie socializes. Once everything is nearly done, she flounces over to offer help. She picks up on Char’s anger, but Char tells her that things are fine. Then J. T. cuts in, claiming that Kassie has not done her share of the work and that Kassie always relies on Char to do the work and then takes credit for it. Kassie accuses Char of being bossy and of not being a team player, and Char defends herself, pointing out Kassie’s broken promises about tonight. Kassie responds with disbelief, and Char confronts her about her unreliability. Char realizes that everyone is watching them, and she leaves.

J. T. follows her to the stairs and leads her up a circuitous route to the roof. J. T. tells Char that Kassie is not a good friend. He argues that Char always saves everyone, himself included, and he thanks her for all her work. This is new. Feeling “at peace” in his presence, she asks him how yesterday—the anniversary of his sister’s death—was, and he answers candidly that it was not a good day. In turn, he asks if Char has spoken to her dad. She explains her conflicting feelings about seeing him, and J. T. offers to go with her and provide moral support. She asks why he’s being so nice, and he asks her the same thing. Each subtly alludes to their real feelings for the other, and then they kiss.

The kiss is passionate and goes on for some time. J. T. says that he’s wanted to do this forever, and Char thinks about how “safe” and “real” this moment feels. She nervously asks him to prom, expecting him to accept with alacrity, but instead he looks stricken. Suddenly, Andie opens the door to the roof and tells J. T. that they need to talk about his tie because it should match her dress. J. T. admits to Char that he is going to prom with Andie, and he won’t meet her eyes. She is mortified, and he apologizes. He tries to explain, but Char bolts.

Char runs from the school. She considers how her friendship with Kassie seems to be disintegrating, and then Kassie’s car pulls up alongside Char. Char gets in, and Kassie tosses her a bag of Cheetos. They drive around for hours, singing with the radio and ignoring their problems; it feels good. Char has missed these moments with Kassie, moments when she is fully present rather than worrying about the past or the future. She recalls adult J. T. telling her that she needs more of these moments. Kassie reports that J. T. told her to go after Char, and Char tries to explain what happened on the roof without telling Kassie too much. Char thinks that he was playing mind games, kissing her while dating Andie. Kassie defends J. T. as a good guy who wouldn’t do anything to humiliate Char.