Writers and Lovers

Caleb found a therapist who would fit the scheduling of Casey’s appointments before her insurance runs out, so she starts seeing Malcolm Sitz. She describes the sensation of her body dinging, and he tells her it’s clearly anxiety. She tells him about when it started with Luke, and proceeds to tell him all about her mother’s death, leaving Barcelona, her student loan debt, the book rejections, her housing insecurity, Oscar, and Silas. In the second appointment, they discuss her commitment to a life that is unstable, a gamble that seems not to be working out. In their third appointment, he asks her what she’s truly scared of. She tells him that she’s scared that if she can’t handle the problems she has now, how will she handle bigger problems in the future. Malcolm lists the problems Casey has now: the second and now permanent loss of her mother, the inability of her father to parent, her student loan debt collectors who will never leave her alone, her unemployment, her desire to have children, her lack of a partner, and perhaps fertility problems. He tells her that these problems are not nothing. Casey realizes, “Of all his strange responses, this is the one that helps me the most. This is not nothing” (Page 444). 

Manolo calls and offers Casey the job at the progressive private school she loved. He asks if she can start Monday, ensuring a full salary job with benefits and a full schedule, including a creative writing elective. Casey is surprised, adding that the interview with Aisha didn’t go well. He assures her that Aisha only wanted her for the job. He also asks her to make opening remarks at a writing festival the school is hosting. After so many things have gone wrong, this enormously good thing happening to Casey makes her feel a joy that is like honey.

Casey has one week to send Jennifer her revisions and prepare for classes. She works in her shed, luxuriating in the feeling of time well spent, uninterrupted by the stress of a shift at Iris. 

On her first Monday, Casey wakes up at five in the morning to write for an hour and a half. She wants to set up a routine right away so that she will always write before work. She peruses notes on napkins and in notebooks she’s made in the past and discovers a timeline for a next novel. She already knows the first line and begins her next book.

In her first class, she teaches high school juniors. At first Casey is nervous, but when she sees them and remembers what it was like to be a teenager, she realizes that she just wants to help them get through the day. She asks them about the book they’ve been reading in class and focuses their attention on a passage about praying for forgiveness. She asks the students to write about a time they felt the way the character felt. Casey considers her first class a success and calls Muriel to tell her about it. The conversation with Muriel makes Casey want to call Silas too, but she tries not to think too much about him.

Casey hears back from Jennifer. She likes the revisions, and the book is officially out for sale to the publishers. Casey celebrates with Muriel, Harry, Christian, and James.

Casey catches herself smiling at nothing in the bathroom at school. Casey is simply happy; classes are fast and interesting, the kids are nice, the school lunch is helping Casey fill out, and she’s noticed the dark circles under her eyes disappearing.

Casey’s school is hosting a writing festival, and Casey is the opening speaker. She and Manolo greet the three guest writers; among them is Victor Silva, whom Casey knows. Five other schools have been invited, and when Casey is introduced for opening remarks, she looks over a full gymnasium. Casey’s speech is about how no matter what struggles she faced in life, writing her novel has been her constant home, her source of empowerment, and her consistent friend.

Casey attends Victor’s workshop and tries to write about her mother’s bathroom. The school secretary interrupts her, letting her know Jennifer is calling and says it’s urgent. On the phone, Jennifer tells Casey about all her offers. Casey’s novel is now in an auction for publication. Casey returns to the workshop and finishes writing about her mother’s bathroom. On her way to the next workshop, she spots a student with the school name “Trevor Hills” on their jacket—Silas’s school. Casey is sure Silas must be at the festival chaperoning. Casey’s attendance in workshop is interrupted again by another phone call from Jennifer, who wants to know what Casey’s goal number is for selling the book. Casey calculates her student loan debt and the rent for an apartment and gives the figure to Jennifer. Casey returns to the workshops and on her way through the busy hallway, she runs into Silas. She asks him to have lunch with her, and he begrudgingly agrees. Before she can meet him in the cafeteria, Lucille the school secretary is back. Jennifer is on the phone again to tell Casey she needs to speak to three editors who are still in the bidding war. Casey calls the first editor, who has ideas for the book that Casey loves, but she misses lunch and therefore stands up Silas. In the next workshop, Casey has to act out fear and realizes that for the first time, she feels no fear.

As the students leave the festival for the day, Lucille stops Casey with a note from Jennifer letting her know that they successfully met Casey’s financial goal for selling the book. Then, Casey looks around for Silas. She finally spots him walking to his car and runs after him. She apologizes for missing lunch, and he says he knows how things go with Casey. She starts yelling then sobbing, explaining how she was afraid the physical reaction she has to him would break her heart. She explains that she loves his story and that she missed lunch because she was selling her book. Silas takes her into an embrace, then they kiss in the parking lot.

Silas and Casey join her friends from Iris to see David Byrne perform. That night, Silas goes home with Casey.

Casey and Silas go to the park to feed and watch the birds. She misses them already, knowing she won’t be able to witness their flight to somewhere warmer because she’ll be in class or writing. Casey thinks about how much her mother would like the idea that some geese fly away as far as Mexico, while others just stay home.