Writers and Lovers

Casey faces writer’s block again. She tries to motivate her mind but can’t find the purpose in her novel she’s been writing the last six years. To her, the book is 206 pages of nothing she finds meaningful. Casey tries to escape her feelings of dread by focusing on the happy anticipation she feels for her date with Silas instead.

At the restaurant, Casey works with one of her favorite fellow-servers, Harry. Working with Harry is fun; they smoke, gossip, laugh, and eat. Their manager Marcus always swears not to put them on the same shift again. The shifts with Harry help distract Casey from her sadness, but later the same night she receives a message from Silas who is leaving town for an undisclosed period of time and must cancel their date.

Muriel encourages Casey not to write Silas off, then throws a small dinner party so Casey’s Friday night doesn’t go to waste. Muriel’s friends are an assortment of published writers, some more successful and interesting than others. Casey knows many details about Muriel’s friends, since writers are so expressive in their storytelling. An old friend of Muriel’s named George asks Casey about her novel set in Cuba. She tells him that her mother lived in Cuba as a girl, though both her parents were American. In the novel, Muriel’s mother must choose between love, revolution, or a return to the United States. Casey tells George that John Updike was in her restaurant the other week, where he told a fan that he wrote The Centaur because he didn’t have any other ideas, a refrain that Casey relates to with her novel. George tells Casey that he’s been writing one story for three years and only has 11 and a half pages. He tries to ask Casey out, but she’s too worried that his bad writing luck will rub off on her.

Wedding season begins at the restaurant. All the wedding and reception preparation reminds Casey of her parents’ story and why marriage doesn’t seem appealing to her.

Casey’s mother and father met on a golf course, and when they married they had dreams of traveling and revolution. Instead, Casey’s father found a job teaching golf at a high school in Boston and Casey’s mother found her journey going to church. At the church, Casey’s mother met a cantor named Javier, with whom she began an affair. When Javier was diagnosed with leukemia, Casey’s mother left the family to stay in Phoenix with Javier for a year and a half before his death.

Casey’s friends are also getting married in seemingly rapid succession. Her old middle school friend Tara calls Casey about her upcoming wedding in Italy. When Casey tells her she won’t be able to make it because it’s too expensive, Tara and Casey argue about adulthood, financial responsibilities, and social obligations. Casey watches herself losing one friend after another but can’t get herself out of her deep hole of debt.

Casey arrives at Iris to start her next shift, and she comes across the staff huddled around a newspaper. Princess Diana, an icon of Casey’s childhood, just died in a car accident.

Casey recalls living with her father and his girlfriend Ann when her mother was in Phoenix with Javier. At the time, Caleb was away at college. Casey remembers feeling scared but not altogether unhappy. She began writing fiction when her mother left, a fact Casey later wonders might be connected to a peer’s psych test that implied Casey has schizophrenia. Although Casey clearly doesn’t suffer from the illness, Casey realizes other idiosyncrasies about her behavior, especially those relating to her mother. When Casey’s mother was away, Casey would rearrange small messes in her room, believing somehow that organized spaces would bring her mother back. Now that her mother is forever gone, Casey finds herself still organizing and seeking some semblance of control.

Adam brings Casey her mail and comments on how free her life is without belongings and big-time job responsibilities. Adam asks her why she has student loans, believing that she went to Duke University on a golf scholarship. Casey tells him she quit golf, even though she was ranked first or second in the country at age 14. Her mail includes a postcard from Crested Butte with a message from Silas apologizing for their missed date. Casey throws it away along with her past-due notices.

Later that week, Casey researches Cuba in the public library but ends up reading about writers and their dead mothers. She learns about George Eliot’s partnership with her father after her mother’s passing; D.H. Lawrence’s loving relationship with his mother that ends in him killing her to rid her of pain; Edith Wharton’s discovery of herself as an author after her mother dies; Marcel Proust’s imaginary conversations with his dead mother which led to publications; and Virginia Woolf’s first mental breakdown after kissing her mother, who had been dead for several days.

Casey is at work serving her table’s plates when the Kroks, a university a capella group, begin their performances, entertaining the diners and annoying the servers. Despite her typical annoyance with the Kroks, their last song stays with Casey and taps into her emotions. On her bike ride back home, Casey notices the influx of students returning to their universities. She stops to observe the geese fly and swim, thinking again about her mother. Once, her mother told Casey that she’s a good singer; Casey sings to the geese, trying desperately to sing to her mother.